Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Swim Brief Classic: Finally, a Voice of Reason Brings a Real Solution!

I saw someone with their thong showing above their jeans today and it reminded me of this piece that I originally posted at swimviking on June 5, 2009, when we were still getting used to having an approved suit list.  It seems that the Rosetta Stone program that the interviewers were using might have had trouble translating, or maybe Ryosuke was really on to something.  Check it out:

I'm gonna go hit the pool after work.  You coming?
Ryosuke Irie, whose celebration over demolishing Ryan Lochte's 200 LCM Backstroke record was cut short when FINA left his Descente suit off of their list, has taken the swimsuit saga in a whole new direction...

You can't make this stuff up, guys! It's for real! How did the rest of us never think of it? It's brilliant!

All of our "technological doping" problems would be solved, and it would be comedy gold! The drama would be way more hilarious than our current mess, and it is almost a guarantee that competitive swimming would be mentioned on Conan O'Brien nearly every day for years!

There would be multiple sitcoms based on our sport! This would be more valuable to the American comedy industry than George W being elected for a third term!

The only negatives I can see are:
1) the word "buttocks" would have to be removed from the "suits must cover the breasts and buttocks" page in the high school swimming rule book.
2) no one would want to run a stopwatch anymore at meet, simply due to the logistics of it all when the swimmers are taking their mark.

Other than that, the G-string plan is awesome on so many levels!

I have to say Mr. Irie, for a nineteen year old, you have a stellar vision for the long-term future of swimming. I am totally on board with your idea. Do they take write in candidates for the FINA president's job that was left open when Larfaoui stepped down? I would vote for you! We need a progressive thinking rebel leading the way to a pure sport!

You da man, Ryosuke!

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