Thursday, June 2, 2011

Stereotyping Swimmers By Their Swim Suit

Board Shorts: Frat Guys.

Hawaiian Board Shorts: Insecure Frat Guys

Boxers and T-Shirt: Wal-Mart shoppers

1920s Weissmuller One-Piece: Wal-Mart workers

Pink Brief: Ryan Lochte Wanna-Be's

Whitey-Tighties: Boys who eat Lunchables at school

Stained-Yellow Whitey-Tighties: Dads who eat Lunchables at work

1970s Striped Retro Brief: IRoc Camaro owners

"Birthday Suit": Eastern Europeans

Goose Down Coat & Leggings: Icelanders

LZR/Jaked/BlueSeventy/ShinySuits: Masters swimmers who want to beat personal best times without really training

Wetsuit: Guys who listen to Jack Johnson

Torn Wetsuit: Guys who want listen to Jack Johnson, but are presently being eaten by a shark

Mesh Shorts: Non-swimmers

"Jorts" (Jean Shorts): Williamsburg, Brooklyn residents

Long Hair Covering Everything: 1980's Rockers

Radiation Suit: Mayan Calendar survivors

Jammer: Age groupers with crushes on someone in their training group

Thong: Techno music lovers

Sock: Guys with more confidence than me


  1. what about the people who put matching swimsuits on their dogs? really?

  2. in fact, i think i've done all of the above as well.