Friday, June 10, 2011

Best Practice Excuse Ever!!

"Darnit, Mr. Baa Baa... I am sorry coach made us late for your piss test!"

In 14 years of coaching I thought I had heard it all.  I have coached age group and high school and there isn't an excuse to get out of a set that would surprise me any more.  I have had the kid whose grandma died three times in one season; the kid who went to the bathroom and didn't come back for a week; a 16 year old boy who claimed he was lactating; and a 16 year old girl who claimed she had jury duty.

I even once had a kid who told me his car blew up... and it really did.  I saw the flames coming out from under the hood on the way in to morning practice.  That kid eventually went on to skip another practice so he and his buddies could rob a Burger King, but that is a story for another day.

This morning though, might have just topped them all. I just might have heard the best excuse of my life.  Mind you, this kid is an Oklahoma state champion, which might explain how this is actually true.  Here's how it went:

Viking!:  "Hey, are you leaving?"

Swimmer:  "Yeah, I have to get out early.  The fair is this weekend."

Viking!:  "And...?"

Swimmer:  "Well, I have to go in and weigh my goats."

Viking!:  (with an amused smirk) "What?!  Weigh your goats?!"

Swimmer:  "Yup.  And they have to be drug tested too to make sure we aren't feeding them something illegal."

Viking!:  "Bwahahahahahaa!  Best excuse ever!"

Ha!  It's about time the WADA started cracking down on those darn goats!!  Farm animals have been just walking all over the doping rules for years!

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