Thursday, June 2, 2011

Late Night Snack: It's already been done? Swim Team: The Movie

Quite possibly the best and worst movie of all time.

I have dreamed for years that some day the ultimate swimming movie will be made and that I will be a part of it's production somehow.  I nearly went to film school just to pursue this.  Gus and I have joked about sharing this dream of making the movie that will finally make everyone in the world love swimming as much as we do.  It would simply be called "Swim Team: The Movie" and it would appeal to sports fans, comedy lovers and romantics alike.

But wait... there already is a Swim Team: The Movie?  How did I not know this?

Apparently, in 1979 writer/director James Polakof tried to capitalize on the success of Meatballs with a similar raunchy, coming-of-age story of a community swim team on a 7 year losing streak that turns it all around with a passionate coach.  It even featured Buster Crabbe and Stephen Furst, who played Flounder in Animal House.  How could it go wrong?

Well... I guess it went even more spectacularly wrong than just about every other swimming movie out there, and we all know how bad most of those are.  Nevermind the actors who can hardly swim and the guys who wear their goggles around their necks that have become standard in Hollywood.  This went horribly wrong because it might have been the most realistic summer league swimming movie in history.  The actors who can barely swim and wear goggles around their necks probably made it that much more realistic.  It had a fat kid creating destructive waves while swimming the butterfly, several scenes where someone falling into the pool is supposed to be funny, and even a high school girl who "gets it on" with a coach!  Wow.

One reviewer at imdb even said, "Oh, MAN! I had forgotten that they made movies this bad in the 70's. Retarded plot. Retarded acting. Monumentally stupid love interests. Plus, some of the lamest attempts at humor I've ever seen... Combine all this with a soundtrack to vomit to and, please, won't some nice shark out there eat all these twits?"

The unsettling part for me is that I loved all of those stupid meatballs-esque comedies back in the day, retarded acting and all.  I even liked Meatballs 2 and 3.  I absolutely have to see this movie.  If anyone out there knows how I can get a copy on DVD, please let me know!  Curiosity is killing me!

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