Gutter Talk: Bodysuits Back in 2013?

SwimNews recently reported that FINA will be revisiting the tech suit issue in 2013 with consideration of equal coverage for men and women with textile fabric being allowed to cover the body from knees to shoulders.  Among other issues, some feel this would be beneficial in that sponsors would be given space to advertise, while others think that covering the male torso will eliminate some of swimming's sex appeal.  

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

"This is not enough.  All world records should be erased from the books unless they were set in wool body suits.  Period."  Johnny W-  Former World Record Holder.

"No, dude... stick with the brief.  You know you want this!"  Chris D- Swim Blogger

"Advertising space should be a priority if you want to grow the sport.  You might think it's the mustache and the physique, but really chicks dig all the logo's."  Johnny F- NASCAR Driver

"Getting rid of tech suits was just plain unfair to us guys with man-boobs.  I haven't gone a single best time since Rome '09.  Bring them back!"  Brett C- Former Professional Swimmer

"Body suits are a bad idea.  If we all wore two pieces, equal coverage wouldn't be an issue and the sport wouldn't lose all it's sex appeal."  Tito J- Unemployed

"I bet I could make them change their minds..."  Michael P-  World Traveler

Gutter Talk: NBC Wins Olympic Broadcasting Rights

NBC Universal recently beat out Fox Sports and ESPN/Disney/ABC by turning in a 4.38 billion dollar proposal to the IOC to win broadcast rights for the summer and winter Olympic Games all the way through 2020.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

"This plan will only be profitable if Phelps wins 9 gold medals this time. Otherwise we waaaayyyyy overbid.  Cross your fingers, guys!"  David P- Network Executive

"for 4 billion the Olympics need to be about once a month instead of every four years." Steven H- Television Viewer 

"uhhh... what channel is that?  Do they have an app?"  Seth G- Youth Swimmer

"Phew... I still have a job!" Rowdy G- Sports Commentator 

Gutter Talk: Tainted Beef in Shanghai

SwimNews has reported that positive tests for Clenbuterol have become so common for athletes visiting Shanghai that the German Swim Federation is bringing team doctors to Worlds this summer to test meat and track chain of supply.

What do you think?

"Hey, if I am choosing between two steaks to eat, I am gonna choose the one that's the most ripped."

John L- Professional Eater

"I have had three surprise piss tests by the WADA this week and I don't know a single cow who has had one all year. Cow bodybuilding is getting out of control and they don't seem to want to do anything about it!" Jared O- World Class Synchronized Swimmer

"Damn I was getting excited about ordering my first McDonalds 6

and a quarter pounder when I got to Shanghai." Ricky B- Model

"Of course those cows are dirty, filthy doping cheaters. They are Chinese."

Tom D- Award Winning Writer.

"These accusations are ridiculous!"

Maximus J- Bovine Body Builder

"Are you kidding? Tainted meat is the only thing

that could help Germany win a medal."

-Chris D, Hater of all things German.

Gutter Talk: NCAA Potential Relay Rule Changes

The NCAA is considering several rule changes for swimming, including inviting 16 relays to the D1 championship, allowing aggregate relay entries, tying relay entries to times rather than names, and eliminating last chance meets; all of which might severely lessen the number of individual qualifiers.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

“We really need to move to a system that makes more sense.  I think it’s time we get the BCS involved.”  Chuck W.- Sports Management Consultant

“Let’s see.  There are 5 men’s relay events.  16 relays invited with 4 swimmers each, and relay entrants would not be limited to who actually swam it.  (5x 4) x 16= 320 swimmers.  Sure that makes sense considering the cap is set at 235.  Potentially there could be negative 85 individual males invited.”  T.S. Viking- Delusional Blogger 

  

“As long as we keep the mid-majors out I can live with any rule changes they throw at us.”  Braden K- theswimmerscircle.com

"Who cares?  It's swimming.  As long as the price doesn’t go up, let them do whatever the heck they want.”   Mark E.- CEO

Gutter Talk: Jones vs. Schneider Swim-Off

CULLEN JONES RECENTLY DEFEATED SWIMMAC TEAMMATE JOSH SCHNEIDER IN A HEAD TO HEAD SWIM-OFF FOR THE FINAL SPOT ON THE US WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

"I heard there was a lot of trash talking in practice.  It almost makes me feel like swimming is a legitimate sport."  Kobe B- Sports Fan.

"I am just glad they didn't tie again."  David M.- Swim Coach

"I heard Schneider kicked the crap out of Jones in the parking lot.  Does that mean he gets his spot back?"  Brad P.- Boxing Promoter

"I am surprised that those results were allowed to stand.  We all know how racist Omega Timing is after that Phelps/Cavic incident in Beijing."  Travis B- Taxi Driver

"I just lost a lot of money.  Man, I suck at picking winners."  David R.- Self-Proclaimed 'King of the Swim Geeks'

Gutter Talk: Phelps' Oxygen Tent

SWIMNEWS REPORTED RECENTLY THAT MICHAEL PHELPS HAS BEEN SLEEPING IN AN OXYGEN TENT TO AID HIS RECOVERY BETWEEN TRAINING SESSIONS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

"For some reason, the scene where Cheech and Chong were driving their car really slow and got pulled over comes to mind."  Ian C.- Retiree

"Now how many ladies can he fit into one of those at a time?"  Jimmy T.- Entrepreneur

"Will USA Swimming be auctioning off any of his recycled air?"  Gary T.- Phelps Phanatic

"Wait... he's training again?"  Ian T.- Celebrity

Gutter Talk: The Ed Moses/ Ryan Lochte Documentary

ED MOSES RECENTLY ANNOUNCED THAT A DOCUMENTARY IS BEING PRODUCED THAT FOLLOWS THE TRAINING OF HE AND RYAN LOCHTE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

"Oh God, I hope there is a slow motion running scene."  David H.- Head Lifeguard

"I heard it was only going to be ten minutes long because youtube is the only company interested in distributing it."  Natalie C.- Professional Dancer

"Can I get a cameo if I agree to not punch anyone in the face?"  Nick D.- Convicted Felon

"If it's not better than Bethenny Ever After, I'm not watching it." Michael G.- Guy who wears swim briefs as underwear almost every day.

Gutter Talk: Masters Nats 2011

Since ripping off The Onion is cool, we decided that our next recurring feature, Gutter Talk, will be the swim equivalent of their American Voices.  We are taking current issues and making sure that opinions from the deck are heard.  We are hoping that this will draw in as many of you to play along as the photo captions did.  Thanks for all the great responses!

MASTERS SWIMMING IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY POPULAR IN THE U.S. AND HAS REPORTED THAT OVER 1,800 SWIMMERS WILL BE ATTENDING USMS NATIONALS THIS WEEKEND.  

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

"This weekend?  Damn.  Is it too late to start training for it?"  Chris D.- Novelist.

"I would hate to have to work that one.  I heard they are making the '100 yard being pulled by a lifeguard' an official event this year to lessen the number of disheartening DQ's." David H.- Head Lifeguard

"Is that the meet where all the old people go?  I heard they need lap counters for every race over a 25 because they forget stuff all the time." Cindy B.- Age Group Swimmer

 "Of course I am going!  That's the only place I can still win without my Jaked01."  Fred B.- Sprinter

"Bring it you whippersnappers!  I'll take all of you on!"  Jaring T- Centenarian

Please give us your Gutter Talk below