Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Families Not Welcome

Yesterday, I talked about the discussion for NCAA qualifying, and seem to have found more than a few people's attention. Today, I want to talk about another issue that came up in San Antonio, different but no less important. Two of the speeches given at the talk were ostensibly about coaches who had just completed meteoric rises. Both sent a clear message: if you want to do this you better go it alone (and be a man).

One coach was more candid about it. In an otherwise cheery speech about starting a program from scratch and taking it to national prominence, everything turned dark for a few minutes as he discussed taking the job married and now being single. The other coach probably didn't even realize what he was saying, as he urged the audience to maintain strong relationships with his co-workers. Offering himself up as an example, he told us how he had eaten dinner every night with his head coach for a year. If you're married (and even if you're not) you know how impossible that scenario sounds.

I want to be clear: this post is not an attack on the single male coaches out there, of which there are many. It's more a call for help. So, rather than make this a long post telling most people what they already know, I want to hear from you. If you are reading this and you're a coach, male or female (even better), and you've had some success while not completely ignoring your family, send your story to Coaches need to hear your story and learn from it!


  1. Time management is key. Working longer isn't always better than working smarter. No reason why coaches can't do both and do it very well (family and coaching). It also helps to marry a wife who is not overly emotional and/or needy. Is that harsh...perhaps...but such is life. Marry an independent woman and then go about becoming a legend.

  2. Please change "another wise" to "an otherwise."

  3. Alex Baldwin. Glengarry Glen Ross. Some of the greatest 7 minutes in selling history.

    1. Alec - iPhone autocorrect

  4. Have been married for 17yrs, 3 kids. Coach club (gold medal club) and college. Number one rule take time to be with your family. Your assistants and your swimmers can get the job done if you are not there once in a while. Family happy, your happy, your a better coach.