I love you, Royal Red Robin.
There; I said it. It's out there now and I can't take it back.
I know that our relationship started in a way that might seem dirty and lustful to most. We met at the bar. I was intrigued by your bottomless fries and I thought that the way you wear your fried egg was cute, almost as if it were a throwback in honor of a comforting breakfast sandwich from my youth. I decided to muster up the courage to order you and I have never looked back since. One flirtatious glance, and I was all yours.
I have been trying to eat healthier, really. I choose salads when I visit Wendy. With the Colonel, I have switched to the grilled chicken. Even last night, in the throes of our passion, I only ate two baskets of fries, when in the past I might have eaten so many more. I feel our relationship has matured over time, but I still am worked up into such a frenzy when you are near, that I couldn't resist adding the extra burger patty and gulping down that chocolate shake last night.
I am hooked on you.
Royal Red Robin, I guess what I am trying to say is, I am ready to commit. Let's cast away the trivialities of the modern hustle and bustle of city life. I no longer need other foods to sustain me and even Chinese buffet's now seem promiscuous and silly. Let's run away together. I am on my knee here.
I can't believe I am doing this...
Royal Red Robin... will you marry me?
Red Robin... YUM!