Thursday, July 12, 2012

Ooh, The Nerve of That Tyler Clancy!

I'm so mad I could karate kick that Tyler Clancy in the face!

Hi swim fans!  Your favorite Phelps Phan, Ritchie MP Cummins here!  I just had to get on here and say that I just can't take it any more!  Why is everybody dogging on my main man Michael Phelps!?  

Michael did awesome at the Olympic try-outs.  Of course we all knew he would make the team, and it's no big deal that he got beat by Ryan Locktey in the 400 IM.  We could all tell that he wasn't even trying at the end because he was saving his energy for the Olympics.  Like they say about the try-outs:  If you are first and second you are first and everybody else did a good try too!  That's because two people make the Olympic team in every event.  They used to let every country have three swimmers in every event but then there was a guy named Mark Spitz who was really fast and they said it was unfair. Mark Spitz had an awesome mustache because he wanted to be like Michael Phelps too!  

...except Mark Spitz forgot to shave it off at the Olympics!  Who shaves their legs but then forget to shave the stachio?
It sounds like Tyler Clancy, the guy who got third place in the 400 IM, is really jealous because Michael wins all the time.  It just ticks me off.  He went on the internet and said a whole bunch of stuff about Michael and basically called him a lazy slacker!  What's up with that?  It doesn't make any sense.  Everybody knows Michael is the hardest worker ever.  Coach Boman even makes him practice on Christmas day!  

Mr. Clancy, you need to get your facts straight and just get over it.  You guys are both on the same team now and you are not being a very good teammate!  Ya know, I wish I could buy tickets to watch you guys when you practice your laps together before the Olympics.  I bet Michael will kick your butt every time and he could probably do it without even using his arms!


  1. I totally agree - Phelps has had an amazing career and owes no one an apology, explanation, etc.

    The point of the Olympic trials is to secure a spot on the Olympic team and not break records. Phelps accomplished what he set out to do - make the team in all of his events.

    Clary must be accustomed to the preferential treatment elite athletes receive in Socal. What a baby! I am so glad that Phelps swam that 400IM.

    I hope Phelps kicks ass in London, retires for two years so he does not have to hear that he is a slacker and then swims at the 2016 Olympics.

  2. That's one way to get press attention - talk smack about the swimmer who kicked your ass even though you work soooo much harder. Where's the box of tissues?

  3. I appreciate your effort to be funny but this is a serious subject. Think about it.

    1. You are darn right this is serious bid'ness! He's lucky I'm no where near France or I'd throw my sweeden's on and kick his "you know what" in the medlay too! F'ing Clancy...

  4. I have to wonder... with most of the Olympic team most likely having a workhorse mentality, do they all just HATE Anthony Ervin? I mean, the guy took ten years off. Do they treat him like some kind of a jerk? Or are they afraid he has mutant powers and just try to be nice out of fear?

  5. it's funny to see that this type of hating goes on at the international level...

    what i mean is, look, we ALLLL have been around (or have been!) that kid that shoulda, coulda, woulda when we swam AND we ALLLL have had that kid in practice that shoulda, coulda, woulda - all you can do is appreciate and emphasize what they are good at, try to develop what they are bad at, and enjoy the best and worst while it lasts because they aren't around for long! just 21ish more days of Phelps - as for Clary, he's just a young kid (and yes, I still think it is very easy for a 23 year old to poorly handle thoughts, feelingss, and emotions - on a seperate but related topic, what is this country's divorce rate?) that has had to grow in the shadow of two of the best swimmers ever, it's easy to see how he'd feel unappreciated, but again, he's young and hopefully he learns how to better handle his frustrations......until then, stay in your lane, buddy! and good luck in London