Nighttime Snack: Swim Beginnings

An approximation of my freestyle for the first 5 years of my swimming career

Over the next couple days, we're going to be posting some stories about beginnings in the sport of swimming. One will be long form by Lisa Stephens tomorrow, the rest of the Swim Brief crew will be checking in by these Nighttime Snacks. As executive omnipotent editor in chief, I thought I'd post mine first. Take that, everybody else!

I started swimming at nine years old because my best friend asked me to do it during recess. He was the kind of guy who excelled at every sport. I was the guy who's Little League baseball coach once mandated that our entire team would stay at practice until I connected with one of his meatball lobs for a hit. He soon came to regret this decision when practice ran an hour late. My biggest memories from starting swimming was getting my butt kicked by girls half my size and having a splitting headache. At my first meet I swam a 100 IM and panicked when I got to the back to breast turn- what was I supposed to do? I think I did a 180 degree turn in the lane without touching the wall. When the official dq'd me, I was pissed! Why didn't she just tell me how to do my turn properly? I forgave, but never forgot.

Do you have a great memory from starting swimming? We might be interested! Check out our post earlier today about the open submissions to The Swim Brief and your story could be featured right here!

MIdnight Snack: Death Race 2011. You May Die.

Think you’re a bad ass?  Then, go ahead… sign up for this year’s Death Race.  It’s this Saturday in Pittsfield, VT.  What are you waiting for?  If you don’t know what I am talking about, please check it out at youmaydie.com.  My friend Andy Weinberg, a former distance record holder at Missouri State, is one of the people who organizes this race-- if you want to call it a race.  The time does not matter.  It is all about survival. This race will test you, no matter who you are. Please watch the video made by the New York Times.  It will blow your mind.


While I have never signed up for the Death Race, I have liked them on facebook, and that means I get some of the messages they send out to all the crazy people who think they can do this.  I received the list the other day of things that competitors are expected to bring to the race, and they aren‘t things you would typically find in your swim bag (unless you are Jason Lezak, of course, because he might actually be this bad-ass):

2011 DEATH RACE GEAR LIST
1. Goggles
2. Dixon-Ticonderoga #2 Pencil
3. Hand Drill with 1/2 inch drill bit
4. Hand Saw
5. Tape Measure
6. Axe or Maul
7. 10' Section of Climbing Rope
8. Carabiner
9. One Twenty Dollar Bill
10. Two x One Dollar Bills

It is a special treat when Andy sends out his emails with messages like these:

Spotted some death racers in Pittsfield this weekend. Ray and Michelle were training most of the weekend and exploring some of the trails from previous years. John tackled the 53 mile course, finishing after dark. I saw him taking off again Sunday morning as the sun was coming up.
  
and

Live fish has been removed from the list. Note: There was no harm intended for your fish. We aren't that sadistic. I personally have 17 fish in my kids aquarium and a super cool BETA in the bathroom. I can assure you we had/have no intention of causing any stress or trauma to the fish. We do plan to cause mental, physical, and emotional stress to you but we don't mean no harm to the fish.

It is even more of a treat when Andy’s wife Sloan, (the funniest woman on facebook by the way,) sends out stuff like this:

This comes as sincere and positive as I can be... GIVE UP NOW!!! don't even come, saw Andy and Joe come in from last night course marking. They will break you! I was watching this morning "Hell Week" for Navy Seals, walk in the park compared to Deathrace! Sincerely, Wife of Deathrace...:)

Even if you don't think you can finish the race, at least give Spartan Death Race a like on facebook just to get the messages.  They need to make a reality show out of this race, don't ya think?

Late Night Snack: The Smell of Fear and Sprinting

In case you missed it, the other day I posted this on facebook and twitter:  "Love coaching club again!  This am warm-up:  10x "sit on the gutter, stare at the floor, feel sorry for yourself bc last pm practice was so hard" on 1:05.

The funny part is that it really went pretty close to that way.  They were moping on the gutter and stalling as much as they could (which is typical when it is so early) so I made that joke and a couple of them started watching the clock and acting like they were taking short breaks between rounds of sad-faced self-pity.  It was downright hilarious.

I am starting to find that with this group of athletes morning practice is turning into an awkward sort of comedy gold and i really am enjoying seeing their not-quite smiling faces at 5:45am.

This is another example of a true conversation from practice this morning:



SWIMMER:  "Coach, how many rounds of this set are we doing?"


VIKING!:  "We are gonna do this until I have to pee.  So if you make me so excited that I almost pee my pants, this will be the last round."


SWIMMER:  "Mom!  Please run to McDonald's and get coach another large coffee!"


VIKING!:  "Ahhh... Nothing beats the smell of fear and sprinting in the morning."


This weekend I will be coaching at my first club meet in a long time.  I am looking forward to seeing some old friends on the pool deck and hopefully I will have a chance to get some good stuff on video.  Wish us good luck!

Late Night Snack: It's already been done? Swim Team: The Movie

Quite possibly the best and worst movie of all time.

I have dreamed for years that some day the ultimate swimming movie will be made and that I will be a part of it's production somehow.  I nearly went to film school just to pursue this.  Gus and I have joked about sharing this dream of making the movie that will finally make everyone in the world love swimming as much as we do.  It would simply be called "Swim Team: The Movie" and it would appeal to sports fans, comedy lovers and romantics alike.

But wait... there already is a Swim Team: The Movie?  How did I not know this?

Apparently, in 1979 writer/director James Polakof tried to capitalize on the success of Meatballs with a similar raunchy, coming-of-age story of a community swim team on a 7 year losing streak that turns it all around with a passionate coach.  It even featured Buster Crabbe and Stephen Furst, who played Flounder in Animal House.  How could it go wrong?



Well... I guess it went even more spectacularly wrong than just about every other swimming movie out there, and we all know how bad most of those are.  Nevermind the actors who can hardly swim and the guys who wear their goggles around their necks that have become standard in Hollywood.  This went horribly wrong because it might have been the most realistic summer league swimming movie in history.  The actors who can barely swim and wear goggles around their necks probably made it that much more realistic.  It had a fat kid creating destructive waves while swimming the butterfly, several scenes where someone falling into the pool is supposed to be funny, and even a high school girl who "gets it on" with a coach!  Wow.

One reviewer at imdb even said, "Oh, MAN! I had forgotten that they made movies this bad in the 70's. Retarded plot. Retarded acting. Monumentally stupid love interests. Plus, some of the lamest attempts at humor I've ever seen... Combine all this with a soundtrack to vomit to and, please, won't some nice shark out there eat all these twits?"

The unsettling part for me is that I loved all of those stupid meatballs-esque comedies back in the day, retarded acting and all.  I even liked Meatballs 2 and 3.  I absolutely have to see this movie.  If anyone out there knows how I can get a copy on DVD, please let me know!  Curiosity is killing me!