Swimming Satire

I stumbled upon this Onion-style article in the "Enduring Vision" about adding "acid swimming" to the Olympic games and thought it was going to be kind of dumb. I think it might have been written by someone who knows something about swimming, because they added a couple of lines that made it seem to be pretty relevant satire. Like the following:

In keeping with standard Olympic guidelines, no steroid use will be tolerated in the event. However, due to the acid, additional guidelines must also be implemented.

"If any contestant is found to secretly be wearing a suit of armor, or even fake, acid-resistant skin over their actual skin, they will be disqualified immediately," Schwartzman said. "This event is designed to test the human body's tolerance for sulfuric acid, not some synthetic material."

They also had this gem in their archives about Phelps and his drug use:

"We will evaluate whether it will be acceptable for Mr. Phelps to ever compete in the Olympics again," said the president of IOC, Jacques Rogge. "Smoking marijuana may be the greatest offense ever committed by an athlete, ever."

Good stuff.