The Screaming Viking! Swim Show

Be sure to "friend" The Swim Brief

2011-04-22T05:40:00.000-07:00

The Swim Brief: Uh... "making a big splash?" "splashing onto the scene?" awww, forget it. We just want our mascot to be a fat guy in a brief.

Some of you might have noticed that I recently started posting at The Swim Brief. It is (so far) a collaboration with Chris DeSantis and Mike Gustafson, and I am excited to be a part of it. I am looking forward to being part of a team that will be able to bring regular content on all things swimming. I am mostly excited about the prospect of getting a rocking string of comments going on every topic out there. Please help us to get people talking. That is why we take the time to write this stuff. We want to interact with you!

I plan to continue to post things here. Some of the things I post here might not be on The Swim Brief, and other things might... so please keep checking in here and definitely tune in there. When you visit The Swim Brief, you will see that we already have it set up for you to follow us through Google and by "liking" us on facebook. Please spread the word by suggesting your friends "like" us, and support us in our new venture into the world of swim blogging.

See ya there!

Now that's an athlete...

2011-04-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, I kind of thought it was silly that Daredevil and some of the other superheroes did so many gymnastics moves when they were fighting ninja's and stuff, but I learned to accept it. There was enough cool stuff that I could write it off as really fancy martial arts. Plus, Elektra was so hot that all the posing added something for my junior high maturity level brain to process on a much deeper level with real complexity.

Then, when I rented the movie Gymkata, it kind of ruined all that for me.

The skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate, and the dorkiness of a mulleted hero with no acting skills and a hilariously low production budget!

Never heard of Gymkata? Cracked magazine thinks it is the funniest movie of the 80's. If they can't convince you, maybe the pommel horse fight scene can:

Really kids. This is the kind of thing we had to watch back in the day. There wasn't much else out there. No wonder my generation actually played outside instead of parking in front of a screen. Right?

After watching that, I have to wonder why our military budget does not include equipping our soldiers with gymnastics equipment. If I had the video chops and the time to waste, I would mash up some C-Span footage, Onion-style, to have a senator making a passionate plea for the funding of it with the use of this vid up on a big screen. Come on, you know that would be hilarious. Especially if I could find video of a politician speaking to congress with a kick-ass mullet.

Anyway, in my eyes, gymnastics have been redeemed by a Polish gymnast who has become an internet sensation. You can't watch this without thinking it is kind of super-heroesque:

Thank you Jozsef Wadecki, for your inspiration. I will be signing my children up for gymastics this week. That is freekin' awesome.

The John R. Wooden Award

2011-04-09T12:16:00.001-07:00

Wow. My uncle Mark just posted on Facebook that he is presenting the women's John R. Wooden Award to Maya Moore tonight. They are also having a tribute to Mark's dad, Duke Llewellyn.

I visited him once in LA and I remember him telling me that Coach Wooden had just had dinner at their house a few days prior. Apparently he grew up hanging around the LA Athletic Club and often saw some big named swimmers like Gary Hall around too.

What a cool time and place that must have been and what a great honor to be presenting that award!

NCAA and NASCAR... two great money makers that go great together.

2011-04-06T06:19:00.000-07:00

Way back when the Arizona State swimming and wrestling programs were cut a couple of years ago, I posted one of my very first blogs at SwimNetwork. I wish I could find a link to it because I do not have it saved anywhere. (I asked the SwimNetwork editor to help me track it down but he said it was probably lost in the transition away from WMG.) In it, I cut and pasted a whole bunch of comments from one of the articles at AZCentral where people were bashing non-revenue sports and pretty much confirming that there are a whole bunch of morons out there who think college sports should only consist of football, baseball and men's basketball... the ones that supposedly "make money." One guy even told us swimmers to go to the local pool and do belly flops without expecting a free government handout if we want to swim so badly.

In that blog post I made a prediction: that in 10 years the NCAA would stop pretending they care about athletic/academic ideals and allow non-revenue sports to die, they would trade traditional wrestling for WWE-style action, and that the big conferences would move on to even bigger revenue sports like NASCAR.

So, you have to imagine the terror I felt when I saw a picture of the car Michael Waltrip is racing next weekend:

Granted, this car was designed to celebrate his alma mater's football national championship last year, but still... does no one else fear that this could be the beginning of a really dangerous relationship?

My awesome new hat!

2011-04-05T08:01:00.001-07:00

This Viking helmet was a surprise gift from one of my former swimmers, Katie Kearbey. How cool is that?! The beard is removable. It fits perfectly. I couldn't have asked for a better surprise. Aaah, the perks of being a blogger.

I have been thinking about changing our summer league mascot to Vikings just so I will have an excuse to wear it more often!

Thanks Katie!!

My Tostito's Fiesta Bowl only cost about three bucks... theirs was a lot more!

2011-03-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Paid country club memberships at multiple clubs. $1200 at a strip club. $27,000 a year as a "car allowance." A birthday party costing $33 grand. $95k for the chance to play a round of gold with Jack Nicklaus... Sounds nice, doesn't it? Those are just a few of the perks that the shirt and tie guys who run the BCS seem to regularly pay out on someone else's dime, according to the recent corruption report on the Fiesta Bowl.

Heck, Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker was finally fired for, among other things, reimbursing employees for political contributions! Really? The heads of sporting organizations might be engaged in corrupt political dealings? I can't imagine such a thing!?

Mr. Junker already has big plans for the next World Championships. He is weaseling his way onto the FINA Bureau as we speak. Won't he fit right in?

Even if you already thought the BCS system was ridiculous, your mind will be blown when you read this article at Yahoo! Sports: BCS Conducts Shallow Probe as the Party Rages On. No, really. Read it. This one too, that outlines some of the details of the crazy spending spree. The full report is here.

An excerpt:

If Emmert (NCAA President Mark Emmert) is any kind of leader, he should be furious right now with the details of the Fiesta Bowl report. Bowls’ ability to buy favor with administrators is indefensible. He should demand a full investigation into the bowl business and seize control of the sport’s postseason from these third-party businessmen.

After all, where does the Fiesta get all this money to waste? From the schools, of course (and then, in part, taxpayers and student fees)...

The BCS cuts to the very core of what’s wrong with college athletics – the arrogance and entitlement of the people in charge.

Hey, at least we aren't USA Swimming!

I have read a lot of comments on various articles that warn us swimmers that maybe we don't want to be a mainstream, big-time sport. Maybe we don't want swimming to have the attraction of so much profit that it will lure creeps like these guys into bringing their profit-at-all-cost CEO mentalities to running the show for us. Many would say, with all of the recent problems at USA Swimming and with FINA, that we are already there. Is there something that attracts these people to sports in particular, or is this just our version of the evils of the corporate world?

...of course, the Fiesta Bowl as an organization didn't really break any laws so there probably won't be any charges filed anyway.

A Little Relief from Apple's Arrogance

2011-03-29T05:24:00.001-07:00

I have been pretty loyal to Apple since I got my first iPod. I have had my iPhone for almost two years now, and it has always bothered me that when I am browsing the web it doesn't read flash. I guess there is some kind of geek tech pissing contest going on between Adobe and Apple about whose code is best or something.

It has bothered me enough that if my contract was up for my phone I would switch to Android right now and when I think about getting a tablet I really want to try something else.

When my wife got an iPad for Christmas, I honestly could have cared less. Why bother browsing on a fancy tablet if most of my favorite sites are half blank and none of the videos will play? Swimming World is pretty much a list of dead links and a few ads on an iPad, which sucks because I spend a lot of time there. Also, a lot of buttons and drop down menus don't seem to work correctly without flash either.

A few months ago I downloaded the Skyfire web browser to my phone because it promised it could play flash video. I was disappointed at first because it was very limited in what it could play, but they have been constantly updating.

This morning I pulled up swimmingworld.tv and the videos actually played! Woo hoo!! I am pumped to go home and load it to the iPad tonight. Finally, a little relief!

Apple, Skyfire just saved your butt. I was totally ready to bail on my iPhone. But I will warn you... video is not enough. I won't be buying myself an iPad until you get over yourself and allow me to see web pages the way they were intended. I would rather give my money to a company that values my user experience more than their own ego.

If you want flash video to play on your iPhone or iPad, I can now strongly recommend downloading the Skyfire web browser from the app store. They really are helping to make the swimgeek experience more complete.

31 years?!

2011-03-27T22:21:00.001-07:00

In 1980 the Olympics were boycotted; KISS released Unmasked, their last album with the original line-up of Gene, Paul, Ace and Peter; and The Empire Strikes Back was in theaters, which caused every annoying geek on the playground to impersonate Yoda way too much and made an entire generation say "eeewwww" in unison when we realized a few years later that Luke Skywalker had kissed his sister in a way that was not really okay.

1980 was the last time Cal's men won an NCAA Swimming and Diving Championship. Congrats boys. You deserve to celebrate your 2011 title. You swam your hearts out.

1980 was also the beginning of the longest winning streak in any NCAA sport at any level. That streak ended this weekend when Denison's men snuck past the Kenyon Lords by one point at D3 Nats. One point! 31 years!

I can't imagine that it was as awesome to be a swim fan in 1980 as it is now. I marvel at how amazing it is to be able to follow along through media that is so abundant.

Oh yeah, by the way, I won the podium pursuit picks. Yay! OldWahooVA and Smurphy had me a little scared there after day two. I owe you guys a tall one if we ever meet. I was having such a good time picking my top 3 swimmers this year that I didn't even bother to make a March Madness bracket. Podium Pursuit has announced that they are making some changes next month. I am excited to see what they come up with. If you haven't been playing, be sure to start an account before Worlds. It is more fun than you might think.

Men's D1. I'm all over it.

2011-03-25T04:16:00.001-07:00

Who's in the lead after day 1 of the men's D1 NCAA meet?

ME!

I aced the pick on the 50 free with all three spots in order, picked the winner of the IM, and named two of the three in the 500.

I am feeling pretty good about today. Log in to podium pursuit and join The Viking Ship if you think you have a chance to catch me. Join in the fun.

Captain America Full Trailer

2011-03-23T20:31:00.001-07:00

Women's NCAA's was a blast, and I didn't even get to watch!

2011-03-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

Okay-- I have to tell a story on myself. I am kind of an idiot. After the World Champs last year I was 4th place over all in Pursuit Points. That was before I realized how valuable it was to "gear up" my athletes. I started outfitting them after two full days were already over, so I wasn't too disappointed with 4th place. David Rieder actually let me bump up to third (long story, thanks SwimGeek!) but I was a little disappointed when I realized there were a couple of events I would have won if they had been in gear. For Worlds there was a $25 prize on the line for the best picker on each event.

For the D2 Men's and Women's meets I think I won, although there were two guys whose scores kind of randomly popped up ahead of mine on the list and then would disappear from the rankings. I don't know if the PP guys ever showed a comprehensive list like the one above. There weren't any prizes on the line for that one, so no big deal. Not sure what the glitch was. Oh well. I suited up my swimmers for that one... well, kind of. My scores didn't match up but I didn't care because I was kicking butt.

After the Women's D1 meet I had to email the Podium Pursuit team to find out what had happened to my score because again it didn't match up but this time was a bigger deal. According to my calculations I should have won by a longshot. I had earned 225 points! They checked for me and found out that I had not suited up my athletes correctly. Apparently I have made picks for four big meets without knowing how to do it right!

They told me that some events were suited and some were not. Hmmm.... example: I picked all three of the top finishers in the 1650 in the correct order. That should have earned me 34 points, but since they were somehow not suited, I ended up with 10. As a matter of fact, all of my day 3 scores were unsuited points only. Ouch. I had some pretty big plays there.

Oh well... I don't blame Podium Pursuit. I blame me. You three guys at the top should consider yourselves lucky. Ain't gonna happen for the men's meet. Game on.

As far as the the big show over the weekend... I didn't get to watch any of the live video and I still had a blast following the meet through live results. Outside smoke. Records broken. A tight team race. I don't think a fan could ask for more.

The surprise of the meet?... Some of you have to agree it was Haley Spencer squeaking past the pack in the 200 Breast to bring it home for Minnesota. She is awesome. I interviewed her once for floswimming a few years ago. After watching this video again, I am a little disappointed in myself for only having picked her for third place.

Swimming Videos on Floswimming

Later in that meet I interviewed her again. She broke Liz Smith's state record in the 100 breast and it was a best time by a full second. It is a rare kid who can keep her head glued on that straight while fighting the flu. I will be picking her for the win next year.

Please join the Viking Ship at Podium Pursuit if you think you can take me down. I did my research for the men's meet. You better pack a lunch. It's gonna be a long weekend.

Georgia's Secret Weapon- Jerry Champer

2011-03-18T09:35:00.000-07:00

"We're number one!" or a subtle threat?

I am betting on Georgia to win the Women's NCAA Championships this week. Not because Jack Bauerle knows what he is doing. Of course, he does. Not because they have insane depth and can do things like put three girls in the top 8 of the 500.

To put it simply... it is because they have crazy bad-ass former Viking Jerry Champer on their staff. It is hard to see the power this man wields in the picture above. His shiny head barely peeks out from behind his fellow assistant coach there, but look closely at the way he is holding out that finger. He is about to jab that 'number one' into someone's eye. Notice the raised eyebrow and the way his mouth is sneering. He is not celebrating their success... he is laying down a threat to all of the other teams who think they have a shot at the NCAA team title.

Trust me. I have seen that look directed at me.

Jerry Champer was my coach at the Viking Swim Club and PHS in Petersburg, Alaska from 1989-92. He launched a successful career on the back of my talent. (just kidding!) It was his first real coaching gig, as he came to us straight out of Wisconsin- LaCrosse. He wasn't old enough to drive the rental car at state my sophomore year. Now that I am a little older I can see more clearly what a great job he did for us, and especially for me as his role far transcended mere coaching after my father passed away and I sorely needed a mentor in my life to help me stay on track. I was such a space case back then... I hope Jerry understands how much I appreciate him now. I can only hope his job has gotten easier since he moved on!

This was quite a crew... five went on to swim D1 at Northern AZ, Western Illinois, MO State, San Diego and Auburn. I believe there were five AK state record holders in that pic. Not bad for an island with a population of 3000!

Jerry's sense of humor is tremendous and he was the most convincing cow I had ever seen for Halloween. I have had some really great stories to tell that center around Jerry. If you know him, ask about the time one of our seniors got a hold of the keys to the rental van, and definitely ask about the time our plane couldn't land to pick us up to travel to Anchorage for the state meet.

This was the most embarrasing picture I could find. If you see Jerry on deck this weekend in Austin, be sure to let him know I posted this and tell him I said 'good luck' to all his girls.

Enjoy, Jerry! Once a Viking, always a Viking!

We tried to fight off his vicious rampage with the only weapon we had handy. It didn't even slow him down.

Division II Nats

2011-03-14T06:18:00.000-07:00

Congrats to all competitors at the NCAA Division II National Championships on a spectacular weekend of racing. It was fun to follow! Special congrats to Drury for once again bringing home the Men's and Women's trophy! Drury's depth was amazing. Their strength was not in a couple of studs racking up big points... they had several events with four scorers.

At one point I thought Wayne State's Andrey Seryy was going to edge out Drury's Jun Han Kim for men's swimmer of the meet... but in my opinion that 1:42.99 200 fly launched Kim into outer space. Seryy's 42.9 in the 100 free was awesome, but not quite as awesome. On the women's side, Casey Hurrell-Zitelman was the sure bet for a win every time. She really put on a show. I wish I could have had access to the live video feed all weekend because there was a lot of great swimming going on from too many teams to list.

I added up my Podium Pursuit scores for men and women and without gear I had 68 points on the men's side and 79 points for women. With gear those scores were 185 and 205. I think I won, but I am not sure. I believe they are still tabulating scores. The only event I picked all three places correctly was the men's 200 fly, but I picked the winner in 19 events throughout the men's and women's meets. There were no prizes for D2 picks this time but there will be for D1. Make sure you get your women's D1 picks done in time, and don't forget to click "Groups" and join "The Viking! Ship" to talk some smack as the meets go on.

See ya there!

Charlie Sheen and the Athletic Mind

2011-03-09T07:22:00.000-08:00

Charlie Sheen has revolutionized the self-help industry in a matter of weeks.

As a coach, I feel that the athletic mindset is something I am expected to teach. It is not always natural. I have seen way too many swimmers talk themselves out of good races by letting self-doubt corrupt and dominate their thoughts, sabotaging all of the work they have done to get to the big meet. I teach my athletes to not let the negative thoughts enter their minds. Replace them with positive thoughts. This is a pretty common concept in athletics... your mind and inner dialogue are one of the few things you can control in your sport.

Beyond that, I believe in delusional self-confidence. Tell yourself you are a bad-ass often enough and eventually you will start to believe it, and be it.

This is why I love the first few weeks of American Idol. William Hung is a hero to me. I show Idol tryouts to my team sometimes just so they can see that confidence doesn't have to be reasonable. Some of them are horrible singers and even experienced record execs and successful recording artists can not convince them otherwise. Others, even though they suck, still land record deals! If Simon Cowell couldn't convince some of these people that they aren't good at singing, are you really gonna let some other high school kid convince you that you can't beat him or her in a race? Really?

As an athlete I have a responsibility to carry myself like I am the greatest in the world and no one is gonna tell me any different. If I don't believe I can be the best, there is a 100% chance I never will be. Right? On American Idol you have to not be afraid to make an ass of yourself in front of millions... but in swimming, is there really a negative consequence for being delusionally self confident? You don't really have the opportunity to sign up for the Olympics unless you actually were fast enough to get there, so... why not just convince yourself you are awesome enough to win your heat and go faster than you ever have every time you swim?

This is why I am disappointed that Charlie Sheen is such a drugged out, porn-addicted loser. I can't really point at him as a role model. He has the mindset right. He is absolutely the greatest example of delusional self-confidence in history. He is completely unafraid to just let himself be as awesome as he thinks he deserves to be.

"dying is for amateurs."

"they picked a fight with a warlock."

"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once you will die."

"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitchin', a total freakin' rock star from Mars."

Think about it guys. With thoughts like that replacing all of your self-doubt, there is no way you won't swim all best times every time. I challenge you to be tired of pretending you are not a total freakin' rock star today.

Just stay out of trouble, okay?

The New D2 Selection Process

2011-03-08T06:56:00.000-08:00

...but apparently DII won't choose me to go to nationals if I rank 11-16th place.

I made my Podium Pursuit picks for D2 men and women the other day. I am pumped for the competition. Drury's men are so stacked, they might actually be better than their team from '99 that beat Indiana in a dual. One of my former swimmers was a 46.1 and 1:42.00 in the freestyles and was on the invited list and still did not make the DU National team because they can only take 18 men. Their depth is absolutely crazy.

When going through the psyche sheet, I marveled at what it took to get into the meet. This is the first year they have been operating with their new selection process that was modeled closely after D1. Last summer at a club meet I asked a very successful D2 coach what he thought of the decision to change selections and he was very vocally against it. Even after I explained to him that the new process would favor him since his relays will allow him to pull in more swimmers he said he still thought it was bad for D2. There was supposed to be a meeting this week to find a better way, and I hope that coach was able to be heard.

I went to the collegeswimming.com message boards and found a thread where they were arguing about it and posted this:

I saw these problems coming from a mile away. Last year I went on my tirade (http://swimviking.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-dont-understand-your-sport.html) about the D1 selection process being ridiculous, and then a few weeks later D2 adopted it. In my opinion, you guys have taken all of the flaws of the D1 system and magnified them by applying them to a smaller fish bowl. Even D1, with much higher participant numbers, doesn't fill 16 places based on the formula. How stupid is that!? D2 can do better.

I love that there are passionate coaches who want what is best for all involved tweaking it to better suit D2, but I am sure that when the list came out everyone was a little shocked by what it took to get invited. It is ridiculous that 16 don't get in when 16 score, and no formula is going to solve that completely. Some fast kids are going to be left out. Kids who should score. With so few individuals being invited, 95% of swimmers are going to be too afraid to not put in a full rest at some point just to get qualified. Is that what everyone really wants?

In my opinion this could be solved pretty easily. It doesn't sound like the issue with overpopulating the meet has anything to do with deck space. It has to do with cost to the NCAA. In my opinion, relay-only swimmers shouldn't cost the NCAA anything. If you want a real selection process that is fair, you make the schools pay for their relay-only swimmers and do not include them in the cap. I say take the top 20 for each event, allow 16 relays. Just put the expense for un-invited swimmers on the schools that are sending them.

In Missouri, the state high school association pays for 40 athletes to attend a state championship football game. Our school sends over 100. And the band. And the cheerleaders. And then the teachers all get together and rent a charter bus. And then they buy every player, including the 80 kids who sit on the bench the whole time, a big fat custom made ring. It's a big deal.

So why does the NCAA have to pay for every participant? Why not just the individual qualifiers? I don't see any school administration refusing to spend the money on a couple of plane tickets to fill a relay that should score. Nationals are a big deal. Plus, for many of them, they could just fill space in hotel rooms that are already paid for by the NCAA. Individuals should come first, at least out to 16 (or 20) places in a meet that scores 16. Being on a relay that gets in should not get a slower kid in the meet to swim all of his B cuts at the expense of a swimmer ranked as high as 11th in the nation. Come on guys! does anyone really think that is fair?

I would love to rant a little more about it... any of you guys have something to say to a swim blogger who sends a lot of swimmers to D2 schools? I would love to hear from some of you guys about what you think could be done better. GCU. Todd Peters? anyone want to get on skype to explain the process and some ideas to make it better?

if so, email me at jckw@prodigy.net. I would love to hear what some of you guys have to say and give you a chance to bring it to a wider audience. I would probably even get Greg to let me post it as a feature here. Let me know if you have something to say.

I haven't received any emails, but there are a couple of responses that made it sound like maybe I am not being received as a lunatic like some did with the whole D1 argument last year. I have already had two swimmers commit to D2 schools this year. I do care about getting them to fix this. I want D2 to be better than D1. I already think that their combined men and women 4 day format is better. Why did they have to go and screw it up by trying to be like D1?

Please, if you have something to say about it, comment below. And if you think you can pick D2 better than me, join my group, The Viking! Ship at Podium Pursuit-- but you better bring your A game. I am planning to win that one.

Waitaminnit? How many people actually played in that game?

2011-03-07T11:59:00.000-08:00

That is not just a football made of diamonds. It is a mystical gem powered by the souls of the swimmers who were cut at Arkansas in the 90's.

When Auburn Football went to the National Championship they didn't just lose $600k on the trip. That was the amount they spent over the $2.3 million dollar allowance given to them to cover costs!

And here we are in swimming, limited to a ridiculously small cap of athletes who are invited to our championships because it costs too much to justify inviting 16 to a meet where 16 score, and cutting programs like crazy because schools have no choice but to participate in an arms race to keep up with schools (and conferences) with that kind of spending power.

I didn't make this up guys. Read about it at USA Today.

Indianapolis Grand Prix

2011-03-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

Video chat rooms at Ustream

What's with all the crazy DQ's?

2011-03-03T06:18:00.000-08:00

I have been too busy to blog for a while. I apologize because I know that some of you depend on me to get you your swimming news (NOT). My school told me to make a wish list for facility repairs and improvements, and then told me to find all of the contractors to turn in the bids to get the work done myself. And then they told me my deadline was in about two weeks instead of the two months I originally thought I had. While it has been a blessing, I am also flying blind a little and trying to do it all while still teaching my classes is a little crazy. I have been surprised with how hard it is to get companies to call you back when you want to give them money. Maybe I don't sound serious enough about removing the lap lanes and putting in a lazy river.

Anyway, I figured I had better post to bring attention to some wacky DQ's. Stone Cold Button has had a few posts lately about the relay exchange pads not working at the big meets in Texas. Apparently there is no sort of review procedure for even the most obvious malfunctions. Bob even provided photographic proof. At the Texas Swimming Blog, look up "Guest Post" and "Wake Up, Humans!" to get the full scoop. Methinks some rules need to be rewritten.

And then in Nebraska, the TV stations apparently like to interview the person who would have been state champion if she hadn't been DQ'd before they tell her she was DQ'd. Of course chaos ensues. It even came up on Yahoo news when I logged out of my email. Meanest Candid Camera episode ever. I fully expect Ashton Kutcher to start showing up at HS swim meets and making this a regular thing. What a cluster!

When I coached age group I liked to tell the little guys that DQ stands for Dairy Queen and if the officials hand me a DQ slip it means that the kid whose name is on it has to buy me a blizzard. In these instances, I probably would have laid off the jokes. Some DQ's are messy enough that you just want to move on without giving the kid a hard time.

about.com

2011-02-11T17:38:00.001-08:00

I bitched and complained. I begged and pleaded. I sold myself shamelessly, taking advantage of the loyalty of all of the swim friend connections throughout my email accounts and facebook.

I really whored myself out to get votes in the About.com Readers Choice contest.

Apparently I am not even a part of the voting. We only get to vote on the top 5 nominations and I never even got the email that would have said I am in the top 10.

Don't get me wrong. I might play like I tie my self esteem to things like this, but honestly I was just hoping for some blog fodder to come from it. I was going to trash talk all the other bloggers because I will do anything to get a blog fight going. I don't get a dime for this. I get paid in comments. Blog fight comments are worth the most.

When I send out bulk emails about swim blog stuff, I always try to include some of the high profile people I have never met but harass the most. I got a few good responses from the friends I didn't annoy to death with my email bombardments, but the best reply is what one person equated to a "unicorn sighting," and another called "the shortest piece of prose from SwimNews ever."

This is, word for word, the email I got from Craig Lord:

Mr Viking,

The dye and the vote is cast ... may your online ego grow in tune with the length of your horns, yon warrior...

Regards, J. Jonah Jameson

Come on, guys... you gotta give him credit for being a good sport and playing along. Ha!

I must say that while searching for the right picture to stick Craig Lord's face on, I marveled at how many pictures are out there of Barack Obama and Robocop riding unicorns. Go ahead. Google it. It's crazy.

You can't heckle this guy...

2011-02-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

I was once boo'd by the parents of the University of Cincinnati as I walked past the stands for relaxing the final of a 400 IM and taking 8th to rest up for my upcoming 100 breast at the National Independent Champs when I was a college freshman. I have to admit it felt kind of cool to be a target. I almost felt like I was in a major sport for a second.

While I don't allow my swimmers to talk trash or taunt other athletes, I can totally get into it if it is fun-spirited. In case you haven't heard the story of Ohio State's Jared Sullinger and the cool sign his non-fan in Minnesota made him, click here. Way to show some class!

From the "I think about swimming way too much" file:

2011-02-05T20:44:00.000-08:00

I have been around swimming long enough that I think I can spot talent pretty quickly. When a new fish walks in to join my high school team, I look for all the signs: the broad shoulders, the floppy ankles, the turned out frog feet, the long torso... sometimes I can tell what a kid's best stroke is gonna be before I ever see them swim.

This kid is definitely gonna be a breaststroker.

I mean, when you see someone whose knees hyper-extend, you think "I bet that kid could be a really good dolphin kicker...".

We all do that right?

Well, yesterday I went to see The Kings Speech, which is excellent by the way, and when I saw a man on the screen hyper-extending his elbow I immediately thought, "dang, that guy would have been a hell of a backstroker!"

The sad part is, this is the image I was referring to:

"ze drill ist done like zis, except I am balancing a cup of vasser on mein forehead"

Yeah, I am so swimming obsessed that when I look at the man who is arguably the most evil man in history I immediately wish I could have coached him.

I am sick. It's a disease... and I know I am not the only coach who has it.

Even if Adolph Hitler did represent Germany in the Olympics, I know that the other swimming Adolph from those days, our own Adolph Kiefer, would have put him to shame American style.

After retiring in shame over his medals being taken away for having competed in illegal swimming attire, Adolph Kiefer moved on to a successful career as a florist.

As a matter of fact, the picture below is a scene in the new book I am writing because I want to be just like Chris DeSantis. It is called A Completely Made-Up History of Competitive Swimming, and in it Adolph Kiefer kicks Hitler's ass in the 100 back at the Berlin games and then kicks his ass again (in full costume) in the parking lot after the medal ceremony.

"BEAN!"

Another chapter in my book follows Jason Lezak's career after overtaking the French on the anchor leg of the Beijing 400 Free Relay. In my telling, he commits the next three months of his life to personally taunting and bullying every citizen of France, setting Franco-American relations back two hundred years.

Violence against mime's was up 4000% during the "Jason Lezak intimidation tour" of the fall of 2008.

Please look for my book to be released in about 10 or 15 years, or however long it takes Chris to finish his. I want our dates to coincide. The only reason I blog anyway is so that I can beat him at something since he is too scared to race me. Apparently he is too scared to blog lately too.

Of course, you can pre-order my book for fifty bucks. Email me and I'll set you up to give me your money through paypal.

More Horned Helmet Envy...

2011-02-05T05:23:00.000-08:00

A friend sent me this awesome Viking helmet pic this morning:

I have to say, I have never wanted to sign up for a knitting class so badly in my life. Of course, if I took the time to learn to crochet, I would probably be stupid enough to attempt to make one with horns like this:

Damn, that's awesome. That would take a lot of yarn.

Horned Helmet Envy

2011-01-30T22:18:00.001-08:00

Admit it. You are jealous.

I sure the hell am. That is just awesome.

I can't believe no one told me about this App!

2011-01-28T10:40:00.000-08:00

Waitaminnit!! Do you mean to tell me that I have seen that little "available on the App Store" icon on the TYR/Collegeswimming.com banner all this time and I just didn't figure it out until now?

I had assumed that it meant you could buy the TYR Tracer through some online swim shop that had an app. I am an idiot. It is actually an app for Collegeswimming.com itself! I can access the top times list optimized for my iphone! How did I not already know about this!

I hope they can eventually add the articles and straight up meet results to the app. PDF's would be good enough, but if it could be somehow done like the Live Results app it would be even better. Conference Central would be amazing if it were optimized for the iphone, expecially with video and all of the great coverage they seem to be networking hard to get.

And then there are the message boards... If they could add that to my phone, I can only imagine how much more time I would spend ranting and bickering with the rest of the lunatics. Please Coach Earhart! Make it happen!

"Academic" Salaries- found this on Reddit

2011-01-25T09:28:00.000-08:00

This is an article about a college swimming program that has been cut. If you are interested in helping to save college swimming for future generations, please support Swim Blogs United and GoFor5.org as we try and keep college swimming, $5 at a time!

...well, it's not really about a swimming program specifically, but that is what I thought of when I saw this picture and read the comments below it when I found it on Reddit.

What gets me the most about the comments is how vehemently so many people defend football spending. Even if the info is not 100% accurate, we all know what the trend is. There is hardly any mention of recruiting budgets and the number of coaches these institutions have that are being paid tremendous amounts of money and all of the other extravagances attached that are unjustifiable in our down economy. They all say that football pays for everything else because it brings in millions... yet hardly anyone mentions that the majority of schools are not keeping up with the minimum dollar amount it takes to be competitive. As college football income increases, the spending seems to increase at a higher rate. How else could Olympic sport cuts be explained? More money providing less opportunity just does not add up!

Oh well. We like to watch football, so I guess it is worth it. Right?

BLUESEVENTY APPOINTED EQUIPMENT PARTNER FOR GREAT SWIM SERIES (Press Release)

2011-01-25T07:59:00.000-08:00

I don't usually do the press release thing but I thought this was pretty cool:

BLUESEVENTY APPOINTED EQUIPMENT PARTNER FOR GREAT SWIM SERIES

Nova international, organizers of Europe’s biggest open water swimming programme of events, have appointed blueseventy, the worlds leading supplier of open water and triathlon wetsuits, as an official partner for the Great Swim series.

Colin Hill, project director of the series, said “blueseventy are a company that understand the open water community and their products reflect their heritage as a long term player within the sport of open water swimming and triathlon. We are delighted to be linking up with the brand.”

blueseventy will be supplying official wetsuits, goggles and all swim attire for the series along with wetsuit rentals for the each of the events in the prestigious series.

Dean Jackson, blueseventy Global Sales Manager said: “We have seen the Great Swim series grow alongside the other great mass participation swims of the world.

“Now is the perfect time for blueseventy to align with this exciting new mass participation sport and Nova, who we regard as one of the worlds finest mass participation sporting event organizers.

“The great swim series allows us to meet face to face with a large number of enthusiasts for the water. They are a group who are passionate about the challenge of swimming in some of the countries great open water venues. For us there can be no better endorsement of our product and association for our company than 30,000 keen open water swimmers, and if we can help make their experience a little more enjoyable by product and training then we have a achieved our goals.”

blueseventy are finalising training days geographically specific to the event locations where first timers can try their first suit and enter the open water in a controlled environment with expert advice from blueseventy athlete, Olympic open water gold medallist, Maarten Van Der Weijden and other open water stars from the USA and UK.

Editors Notes

NOVA INTERNATIONAL

Nova International are the organisers behind the Great Swim series. Established in 1988 and headed by Olympic Medallist Brendan Foster; Nova have established themselves as a market leader in the world of sports marketing and event management. The company’s current brand portfolio includes Great Run, based on the Bupa Great North Run, the world’s biggest half marathon with 54,000 entries.

About blueseventy

blueseventy, aptly named to suggest 70% of the earth covered in water, is the world leader in triathlon and open water wetsuits, swimskins and goggles. Since 1993, the Seattle/Derby/Auckland based company has designed, tested, refined and crafted products using superior materials and revolutionary details that equate to comfort, freedom from restriction and ultimately a competitive advantage in the water. blueseventy products have instilled confidence in beginners as well as carried world-class athletes to countless Olympic and World victories. blueseventy products can be found in more than 30 countries. For more information, visit www.blueseventy.com. The water is open.

Dean Jackson dean@blueseventy.com

Wow. Dissed hardcore.

2011-01-24T07:12:00.000-08:00

In honor of those of us who were left off of the list of the "Top 50 Swimming Blogs", (did anyone even know there were 50 swimming blogs?,) I am posting two videos of the "Nobody Likes Us" guys skits from the Kids in the Hall. I mean, really... I posted a video of myself with a viking helmet and a brief wedgie on youtube for your entertainment, and I didn't even make the top 50?! Ouch.

Please help our self esteem by nominating your favorite swim bloggers for the About.com swim blogger/tweet awards. Nominations are being taken now, but voting doesn't start until February 11th. Most of us don't get paid for this. We do it for the LOVE! Your comments and support really mean a lot!

Lap Swimming at the Y is a lot more fun than it should be...

2011-01-20T20:10:00.000-08:00

* I tried to send a friend a link to this story and realized it was only on flo and had never been posted on my blogspot. I apologize if you have read it before, but I felt it was time to transfer it over here. This is actually the story that convinced me to run with the Viking persona when the WMG/USAS deal turned Timed Finals into SwimNetwork. I had left this as a comment on one of Gold Medal Mel's post at TF and it got a great response which made me feel it was worth a shot to try blogging myself. It makes me a little sad to read it with the news that SwimNetwork has been dissolved. Enjoy.

I love to go to the Y. As a former collegiate swimmer, I feel that I have served my time being surrounded by people who know how to swim. I deserve to have some fun when I swim at a public facility with the wierdo's and wannabe's. At rec swim, I break out the old super small, super tight size 28 paper suit and let it all hang out. My routine is as follows:

I make it a point to tell the lifeguard to watch me closely because I have a "condition" that makes me go unconscious if my heart rate goes above 160. Then I hand her a cd and ask if she will play it. It has Eye of the Tiger burned onto it 15 times in a row. I give her the cool point and wink when I hand it to her kind of like Will Ferrell in 'Superstar.'

I like to pull out a razor and ask someone to shave my back "so I don't have so much drag."

I do every ridiculous looking stretch I can think of and I try to do it on a rhythm. I even snap my fingers and sometimes wear a headband. I like to count out loud, and if I think there is someone there who is old enough to get it, I sing Loverboy's "working for the weekend" while I stretch.
I stand at the edge and repeatedly swing my arms like I am going to dive in, but then stop to stick my toes in again to check the water. I do this for about 5 minutes and every once in a while I adjust my suit or rub my fingers on my nipples.

I stare down every kid in the 8-13 age range. I will challenge them to races if the opportunity presents itself before I even get in the water. Every once in a while I will ask one to cheer for me while I swim because it "makes me go faster." If there are any high school girls there, I will ask a kid to ask her to cheer for me.

When I dive in, I like to make my legs go way over so that I almost back flop. That way I still dove, but I get to make the cool splash and scream. Of course, I have to plug my nose.

My first two 25's are ridiculous tempo sprints to the middle, spinning my wheels to twelve yards, and then resting on the lane rope for 3-5 minutes. I try to make it look like I am trying really hard but I don't actually know how to swim. I always yell to the lifeguard, "this is a lot deeper than it looks!"

After the second 25, I like to sink to the bottom and lay there for as long as I can hold my breath. At the one minute mark the lifeguard usually gets out of the chair. If any kids go underwater to look, I blow bubble rings. I sometimes scream just to make sure they look.

I like to do dog paddle and actually bark. I also do three or four flips on every flip turn.

If someone starts a conversation with me I will cross my eyes any time I take off my goggles. I also like to stare at the pace clock and push off when it hit's the 60 as they are in mid-sentence. (Just like my athletes do to me when I am coaching.) I make it a point to tell them I had a scholarship to the Olympics and I was the captain on the Oxford butterfly team. I usually throw in something about my national record of sixteen seconds for a "down and back."

If I actually work out and someone jumps in my lane, I like to literally swim circles around them. If it is a child, I charge at him or her like a bull.

If there is a water aerobics class I like to show off by putting on a nose plug and fumbling my way through some synchro moves. When I climb out after my workout I make sure my suit is stuffed up my crack. When I hear the first chuckle, I stretch down to touch my toes.

I always end the day with a deck change. The suspense builds my rec swim experience to a perfect crescendo. (Can he do it, or is he gonna screw up and drop his towel?) Yes, deck changing is an art I have mastered, but it can also make for great comedy if you know what you are doing.

I have a friend at the front desk who keeps track of how many complaints I get. I break records.

It's just a urinal. What's the big deal?

2011-01-15T16:27:00.001-08:00

Not too long ago, my wife and I were watching some tv show that had two guys in separate restroom stalls talking to each other. It was no big deal, except that it led her to start asking questions about men's room etiquette.

Don't get me wrong... I didn't mind filling her in about it. It just got a little strange when she started getting really inquisitive about urinals.

"What do they look like?"

"Is it one person going at a time or do you share it with other guys?"

"Are there tall urinals and short urinals?"

"Do you guys all talk to each other while you are going?"

"Have you ever accidentally pee'd on someone because they were standing too close?"

Of course, I answered the interrogation the same way I answer rapid fire questions from my 3 and 4 year old daughters (and sometimes my high school swimmers too): I gave ridiculously wrong answers in as believable a way as I could. Kind of the same way Calvin's (& Hobbes) dad told him that old pictures are really in color but the world was black and white back then and that a lot of the great artists who painted in color were actually insane.

"Strangers pee on my shoes all the time. That's just part of being a dude. Once we start chatting it's hard to aim. Especially with all the high fives and stuff."

It was fun and all, but the best part didn't come until the next day. I got a text message from my better half that said "Eek! I guess now I know what a urinal looks like!"

Apparently she had accidentally walked into the men's room at the grocery store.

Now you tell me... was it really an accident or did her curiosity just overpower her judgment? Really?! What are the odds that she would accidentally walk into the men's room for the first time in her life the very day after that conversation clearly showing she had an unhealthy curiosity about the shape of a urinal?

I guess it could have been an accident. She did marry me so I oughtta give her the benefit of the doubt. It's not that uncommon. No matter how many times I look at the sign on the way in, there is always that little bit of terror that builds until I actually spot a urinal, thus confirming that I truly am in the right place.

But still... there was definitely something weird going on with all those questions. Know what I'm sayin'?

"Hey, why is my back all wet?"

Schubert to Remain National Team Director, Wielgus Calls Dismissal "Rumor"

2011-01-11T15:04:00.001-08:00

January 11, 2011
The Screaming Viking!

No newsworthy sources are bothering to report that they have received confirmation that Mark Schubert will continue to act as USA Swimming National Team Director through the Olympic Games in 2020.

Despite a press release directly from the USOC offices in Colorado Springs, a press conference at the International Swimming Hall of Fame, numerous articles in reputable news sources such as the Washington Post, USA Today, ESPN and Swimming World that stated otherwise, and even though all media concerned gave direct quotes from Schubert and USA Swimming Executive Director Chuck Wielgus in which they had stated in no uncertain terms that Schubert had moved on, the whole ordeal has been dismissed by both parties as rumor.

"What was actually said that was so misquoted is that Mark Shubert was taking a well deserved six day vacation after the success of Team USA at the Pan Pacific Championships." said Wielgus, "I don't know how any of this nonsense about Mark being forced to take a sixty day leave of absence and his subsequent termination came about. Oh well, leave it to the media to never take enough of an interest in Olympic sports to put reporters on the job who might actually take the time to get their facts straight... do you know how many times I have read articles about high school kids breaking world records in the 20 yard Intermediate Medley? It's just silly. And don't even get me started about ABC's 20/20!"

When asked about his press conference held on November 17th in Fort Lauderdale, Mark Schubert stated that "none of those quotes that all those reporters had exactly the same and none of the statements that you can clearly hear and see me state on the video can be directly attributed to me. It is all just speculation by a bunch of sloppy reporters out to make a quick buck."

Schubert's lawyer, Michael Bernstein added, "my client tried to tell everyone that after the Pan Pacific Championships, Mr. Wielgus shook his hand repeatedly, looked him in the eye and said 'good job, coach!'. Now is that the kind of interaction you would have with someone you were about to fire from a high profile job? The media should be ashamed of themselves and there should be some sort of retraction published in each of those news sources."

"Obviously, we thought there was more to this story than there actually was, and I intend to get to the bottom of it over the next few days." Swimming World Publisher Brett Rutemiller said. "We just haven't really been checking our facts as well as we should be. I have fired all of my staff. This won't happen again."

When asked if he would give Mark Schubert a positive reference, Wielgus replied, "Absolutely! Our National Team is in good hands!"

All of this comes during a time of rocky transition for USA Swimming, as the organization is struggling to maintain stability in their recently conceptualized "post-graduate centers of excellence." The news media has also falsely reported the dismissal of the head coaches of each of those high profile training centers with the most recent being Sean Hutchison at FAST in Fullerton, California who was obviously misquoted by several news sources to be "taking his dog and pony show elsewhere."

A Big Week for Marvel Comics

2011-01-06T11:02:00.001-08:00

Fanboys across the world were probably a little worried when they saw the headline on Marvel's Facebook page: Axel Alonso Promoted to Editor in Chief

I know I was. It is not because Axel isn't a great pick for the job; he has had his hands on great projects all over the Marvel Universe, but because that means Joe Quesada must no longer be at the helm. In Joe's time, Marvel has moved all the way from chapter 11 bankruptcy to undreamed of heights by not only taking the quality of comics to new places by giving creators more freedom to explore new ways to do things, but also by moving the company into uncharted territory within TV and movies.

Luckily, Quesada is not leaving. He is actually moving up into a position that will better encompass all aspects of the organization and will leave the work of Editor in Chief to Alonso, who can focus more on the comics side of it all.

Well, what about Stan Lee? Isn't he the head of Marvel? Well, kind of... Stan is Chairman Emeritus. He is not so involved in the day to day stuff, but is as much of a terrific promoter for the big M as he ever was.

This week, Stan was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He deserves it for sure. I love watching him. It's like visiting your grandpa who likes comics just as much as you do. I hope I get to meet him someday. Enjoy the vid:

Rob D: Ambassador of the Nation of Bad-Ass.

2011-01-03T06:47:00.000-08:00

Yeah, the cold water is calling.
It's calling you a sissy by reminding you that there are guys like Rob D out there.

In case you haven't been following along, Rob Dumouchel, the Rob Aquatics guy, just finished his 6.2 mile swim from Avila Beach to Pismo Beach. I know...! 6.2 miles! I couldn't do that right now, especially in open water with the waves and all. The thing is, that isn't even the bad-ass part. This was essentially the longest polar bear swim ever. The water was 53 degrees and Rob was not wearing a wet suit.

I teach a hypothermia lesson to our local JROTC units. Four hours in that kind of water isn't something I would recommend. It is a little bit crazy, and I wonder if this might be too tough to be included in the Death Race someday. Heck, my athletes whine if it gets below eighty degrees.

Please take the time to read Rob's account of his swim. He has videos and a pretty detailed telling of it all on his blog. Then you can spend a little time reflecting on how your Christmas training wasn't really as bad as you thought.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T12:30:00.000-08:00

One of my former swimmers is a freshman at Drury. He sent me this link and said it was okay to post. It looks like they are having a great time. Merry Christmas! I hope your training over the break is productive and fun. Enjoy the video and the Viking Santa pics.

Good News, Bad News and Good News for College Swimming...

2010-12-22T07:13:00.000-08:00

Good news! The rumors have been confirmed! William Jewell is bringing college swimming back to the KC area in their move from the NAIA to Division II. Yay! And even better, they hired Mark Gole, who already has experience leading Truman State University one of the top teams in Division II! Hooray!

Waitaminnit... Bad News! Mark Gole starts there January 1st! Ummm... Isn't Truman supposed to be packing up for their Christmas training trip right about now? Does anybody know what in the heck is going on around here? It sounds like the administration is pretty hacked about Gole's departure and they might still be searching for someone to get their athletes through the season. The best place to get caught up in all the speculation and accusations is, of course, the collegeswimming.com message board.

Now back to some better news: college swimming is finally returning to Oklahoma. That's right, the state that raised Samantha Woodward and David Plummer hasn't had a college swim team in a long time, and Oklahoma Baptist University, just a short drive East from OKC in Shawnee is bringing it back. The OBU Bison are an NAIA program, and in their press release on collegeswimming.com they are saying all the right things. They want to bring students into their institution with activities that serve a positive relationship with academics and character building, while having a positive impact on student life. They are adding football, women's lacrosse and men's & women's swimming because they hope to make their university a better place. They are starting swimming in the fall of 2011. Yay!

Why bother with doing it right? Just do it FAST!

2010-12-20T09:35:00.000-08:00

This weekend, when one of our club swimmers made his junior cut in the 100 fly at the pro-am, I got a text from one of our former coaches who was there to see it. She said it was a great swim "for him, in that tasmanian devil sort of way." My reply was "yeah, did he even bother to touch all four walls this time?"

This kid has the hand speed of Mercury. He is a super talent, a sprinter to the core, and fun to have in practice, but he is so athletic that he doesn't feel he needs to mess with learning things like proper turns and streamlines. Why bother making them look pretty, right? To see what I mean about this kid, watch him bring home the freestyle for the Jasper County relay in lane 4 on the 200 MR at the Pro-Am last year (I think he dislocated his elbow at the finish):

Haven't you ever had a swim where you were flying so fast that you just didn't want to bother with the turns? Or maybe where you got frustrated at the first turn and swam angry through the rest of the race? We've all been there, right? That is what I thought of when I saw this video. I hope this kid's coach can do some Sith training with him and channel his anger into some dark-side-of-the-force kind of power. Know what I'm sayin'? Ha!

What a Great Weekend to be a Swim Nerd!

2010-12-20T07:24:00.000-08:00

This weekend was kind of a thrill. I played fantasy swimming for the first time through Podium Pursuit and I absolutely loved it. I got fourth overall, so I was one spot out of the prizes, but I did win one event, and I scored pretty high overall considering I didn't suit up my team until after two days of the meet. That means that even events like the 50 free on day 3 didn't have the advantage of being suited up because I didn't pitch in my $10 until after the prelim had already been swum. In a couple of events I am pretty sure I would have won if we were suited. I guessed Gold and Bronze for the mens' 100 breast and still lost to guys who only had one place right. Oh well. Live and learn.

If all of that confuses you, learn more about it here.

I also didn't get to go to either of the meets that my swimmers were in this weekend. My high school girls were at a SCM meet while I was at my wife's graduation, so I got text messages all night about their swims (and their behavior, of course.) My club swimmers, including a few of my high school girls, also swam at the Chesapeake Elite Pro-Am in Oklahoma City. I not only got text messages about that one, but I got to pull up splits on the Live Results app and I also got to watch a little through the Knocking Live Video app. It actually works from Android to iPhone! The club had one boy make his first NCSA Junior National cuts in the 50 free and 100 fly, I had one of my high school girls hit 53 for the first time in the 100 free, and we had a 14 year old boy turn in a 59 in the 100 breast on a relay! I no longer coach the club, but I still serve as the Chief Operating Officer and I still have an emotional investment into how the club I started is developing. Our new club coach Eduardo Pajares is doing a great job. I really think that we do a very good job of cooperating between high school and club swimming, without sacrificing quality training and long term goals. We are helping our swimmers to get the best of both worlds, and I have to thank the MSHSAA for allowing the exception for swimming that allows us to pursue excellence in both leagues simultaneously.

And speaking of doing a great job, I think the one guy who probably nerded it up better than I did this weekend was David "King of the Swim Geeks" Rieder who not only took second in the Podium Pursuit picking for Short Course Worlds, but also helped Garrett McCaffrey with the coverage of the TYR Capital Classic for Swimming World TV. I am jealous.

How did you nerd it up this weekend?

While the world is watching Dubai...

2010-12-17T06:18:00.000-08:00

John Leonard, on behalf of the American Swimming Coaches Association, has laid out a proposal that calls for the end the current structure of FINA to make it a more "athlete centered" organization. It is old news by now for many of those involved in high level swimming. In it, Leonard makes some pretty inflammatory accusations about greed, favoritism and the fear of repurcussions for anyone who doesn't just "go along to get along." I don't blame him for pleading his case so fervently. We are all furious about the tragedy of Fran Crippen's passing, we all feel there has been severe mismanagement in various instances, and no matter which side of the suit argument you fell on, you can't help but feel that the problem was a lot bigger than just fabric and length due to the flip-flops, rule changes and deadline wacky-ness. In many ways Coach Leonard is right. The structure of the organization needs to change. He has declared war. Go get 'em John. I hope enough of the right people are not afraid to jump on board.

Casey Barrett at SwimNetwork.com has taken a step back and is looking at it from another angle, stating that perhaps we all can tend to contribute to the problem when we get caught up in the spectacle of the kind expensive international competition that comes from the money flowing in the current system; the kind of money that is allowing our world team to be treated like royalty in a state-of-the-art facility. From his article :

"Which makes things just a bit uneasy... For all of FINA's apparent faults, you can't deny that everyone - every swimmer, every coach, every official - would prefer to attend top competitions that are staged with no expense spared. That's not just FINA being greedy (even if that's the case), it's all of us being greedy. After all, don't the best deserve the best? Would you rather compete for world titles in a shallow pool with chemical air under a low ceiling lined with asbestos? Overstating the point, I know, but hearing the descriptions and seeing the pictures of that Dubai pool makes me jealous more than anything. I wish I'd had a chance to compete in a place like that."

Give both articles a read. Sound off below. Do you think that John Leonard is going to be able to rally enough international support? Do you think that Leonard's accusations are valid? Do you think that there is value in the current system? If structure change is forced, would the money really stop flowing?

All Aboard the Viking Ship!

2010-12-15T06:48:00.000-08:00

I started a group called The Viking Ship at Podium Pursuit. When you go there to make your prediction picks, please log in and join. I sent out an email invitation to a few people. I couldn't resist sending one to Craig Lord.

Also, if you need help with your predictions, check out Chris DeSantis' latest post at Swimming World.

LET THE SWIM GEEK TRASH TALKING RUMPUS START!

Shameless Self-Promotion

2010-12-13T05:50:00.000-08:00

Yeah, that really is Misty Hyman in her big acting debut! Ha! I have to thank her for playing along and pretending she reads my blog. Also, thanks to Eduardo Pajares, my go-to camera guy. This was fun. Every swim blog should make one. If y'all do, you've got ad space here for free.

Please leave a comment to let me know what you think.

My SC World Champs picks

2010-12-12T18:11:00.000-08:00

Man, what a tough meet to pick. Maybe I feel out of touch with short course meters simply because I am American. I don't have much rationale for any of my picks... I am just trying to go on gut feeling. I hope more people get involved with David Rieder's prediction contest. I am also gonna try to figure out how to enter these into Podium Pursuit.

Men’s 200 Free
1. Lochte, USA
2. Biedermann, Germany
3. Agnel, France

Women’s 50 Breast
1. Rebecca Soni, USA
2. Matsushima, JPN
3. Trepp, EST

Men’s 100 Back
1. Camille Lacourt, France
2. Plummer, USA
3. Donets, RUS

Women’s 200 Fly
1. Liu Zige, China
2. Hosszu, Hungary
3. Galvez, China

Men’s 100 Breast
1. Van der Burgh, RSA
2. Alexandrov, USA
3. Silva, Brazil

Women’s 100 Back
1. Natalie Coughlin, USA
2. Chang, China
3. Moskvina, RUS

Men’s 100 Fly
1. Korotyshkin, Russia
2. Huegill, AUS
3. McGill, USA

Women’s 400 IM
1. Miley, Great Britain
2. Kukors, USA
3. Shiwen, China

Men’s 400 Free Relay
1. United States
2. France
3. Brazil

Women’s 800 Free Relay
1. United States
2. NED
3. SWE

Women’s 100 Free
1. Kromowidjojo, Netherlands
2. Heemskerk, Netherlands
3. Vollmer, USA

Men’s 400 IM
1. Lochte, USA
2. Clary, USA
3. Cseh, Hungary

Women’s 50 Fly
1. Inge Dekker, Netherlands
2. Galvez, AUS
3. Therese Alshammar, Sweden

Men’s 50 Free
1. Bousquet, France
2. Cielo, Brazil
3. Schneider, USA

Women’s 100 IM
1. Schreuder, Netherlands
2. Jing, China
3. Sjoestrom, SWE

Men’s 800 Free Relay
1. United States
2. Russia
3. Sweden

Women’s 800 Free
1. Lotte Friis, Denmark
2. Ziegler, USA
3. Sutton, USA

Men’s 50 Back
1. Thoman, USA
2. Donets, Russia
3. Lacourt, France

Women’s 200 Back
1. Franklin, USA
2. Moskvina, Russia
3. Castel, France

Men’s 50 Fly
1. Munoz, Spain
2. Huegill, Australia
3. Schoemann, RSA

Women’s 100 Breast
1. Soni, USA
2. Jones, Australia
3. Pierse, CAN

Men’s 400 Free
1. Mellouli, Tunisia
2. Vanderkaay, USA
3. Rouault, FRA

Men’s 200 IM
1. Lochte, USA
2. Tyler Clary, USA
3. Jukic, AUT

Women’s 400 Free
1. Pellegrini, Italy
2. Coralie Balmy, France
3. Katie Hoff, USA

Men’s 200 Breast
1. Shanteau, USA
2. Gyurta, Hungary
3. Falko, RUS

Women’s 400 Medley Relay
1. United States
2. Sweden
3. Australia

Women’s 50 Back
1. Chang, China
2. Jing, China
3. Schreuder, NED

Men’s 100 Free
1. Adrian, USA
2. Cielo, Brazil
3. Izotov, Russia

Women’s 100 Fly
1. Magnuson, USA
2. Alshammar, Sweden
3. Vollmer, USA

Men’s 100 IM
1. Lochte, USA
2. Fesikov, RUS
3. Mankoc, Slovenia

Women’s 50 Free
1. Hardy, USA
2. Schreuder, NED
3. Kromowidjojo, NED

Women’s 200 IM
1. Kukors, USA
2. Hosszu, Hungary
3. Segat, ITA

Men’s 50 Breast
1. Roland Schoeman, RSA
2. Cameron Van der Burgh, RSA
3. Gangloff, USA

Women’s 400 Free Relay
1. Netherlands
2. United States
3. Sweden

Men’s 200 Back
1. Lochte, USA
2. Clary, USA
3. Vyatchanin, Russia

Women’s 200 Breast
1. Soni, USA
2. Jones, Australia
3. Pierse, Canada

Men’s 200 Fly
1. Bollier, USA
2. Cseh, Hungary
3. Le Clos, South Africa

Women’s 200 Free
1. Pellegrini, Italy
2. Vollmer, USA
3. Heemskerk, Netherlands

Men’s 400 Medley Relay
1. USA
2. RUS
3. FRA

Men’s 1,500 Free
1. Mellouli, Tunisia
2. Vanderkaay, USA
3. Joensen, Faroe Islands

Go Lance!

2010-12-10T05:18:00.000-08:00

I was always kinda impressed with him winning all those Tour De France titles, and the whole overcoming cancer thing, but this... this impresses me way more.

(forward to 2:34 on the vid)

Could you imagine lining up behind the blocks for the mile in the 35-39 age group at Masters Nats and realizing that the Lance Armstrong you saw in the heat sheet was actually THIS Lance Armstrong?

Yeah, I would probably pee in my speedo too, which would make getting lapped that much more embarrassing.

This might be the guiltiest I have ever felt for not finding time to work out. Ugh.

I am totally applying for the National Team Director position!

2010-12-01T12:43:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Wielgus, I am writing this letter to apply for the position of USA Swimming National Team Director. While I may seem like an unlikely candidate, I ask you to consider the following:

I have coached at all levels, from beginner swim lessons up to some really fast guys who are out of high school.
I am a stern but fair disciplinarian. You will discover that wearing a Viking helmet really helps with that, especially when I carry around tools to sharpen them as I make subtle threats. Problems rarely escalate.
I am currently coaching a team of 40 high school girls. If I can manage that and keep everyone happy, I can pretty much handle any group. I should be the frickin‘ president. Seriously.
My wingspan is 6’9” and my shoes are size 14EEE. Just sayin’. My hands are freaky big too. Good genetics should count for something.
I get in the water to demonstrate skills sometimes. I’m pretty sure Mark Schubert never did that.
I am very organized. I have handled t-shirt and swimsuit orders for my high school team for years. Trust me, that is a big deal.
I host meets all the time. Some of them have up to thirty or forty spectators.
I am resourceful too. Once at a home meet I stopped a urinal from overflowing with the coffee bean grinder out of the lifeguard office. I’m not kidding. I didn’t even miss any of my swimmers races. Call me MacGyver.
TYR totally wants to sponsor me, but they haven’t come to terms with it yet. I could get them on board as a sponsor.
Even though I have no international coaching experience, I have hired a guy from Sweden and another guy from Spain to work for me in the past. I also swam in college with some guys from Canada, Guatemala, Venezuela, and Mexico… and one of my old roommates from Texas was actually born in Indonesia. That guy was all messed up, let me tell ya.
I have a lot of national pride. I have Captain America’s shield tattooed on my back. It’s kick ass.
I like money. A lot. I am willing to bend over and be a “yes man” if that’s what it takes to make $300K. I am way more than just a team player. I would go above and beyond for that kind of cash.

>Resume’ and references attached.

Thank you for your time. I hope to hear from you soon and I can make myself available anytime outside of school hours for an interview.

Leslie Nielsen. You will be missed.

2010-11-30T06:21:00.000-08:00

What is the best baseball movie of all time?
Bull Durham? The Natural? Field of Dreams...?

Hell, no. It is The Naked Gun, without a doubt. I can't hear the national anthem without thinking of Frank Drebin filling in for Enrique Pallazo, and I can't watch an umpire calling a strike without hoping he does a dance.

Best prison movie ever?

Shawshank? Midnight Express? Cool Hand Luke?

Wrong. It is The Naked Gun 33 1/3. Forward this to about four minutes in. I dare you to watch Frank Drebin yell "There ain't no prison yet that can hold me! Attica! Attica! Power to the brothers! Kill Whitey!" without laughing. It can't be done.

Leslie Nielsen passed away this week. Please take the time to read David Zucker's exclusive tribute at hollywoodreporter.com, and enjoy the video clips. They are some of my favorite scenes ever. He will be missed.

Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at MOVIECLIPS.com

Recent Heated Discussions We Should All Be Following...

2010-11-23T10:58:00.001-08:00

*This was supposed to be a bloody picture of two tigers fighting, but Jason Marsteller asked us to tone it down a bit.

Are you missing the days back when floswimming was the place to be and every blog or video seemed to turn into a 100+ comment argument? I have to say that I have missed the haters and anonymous cowards a little and wondered where they all went. You might be able to get your fix though, as Swimming World has had some real hot discussions lately in the comments sections of the following posts:

Mark Schubert Out At USA Swimming; USA Swimming Confirms Separation With Release -- November 17, 2010

Mark Schubert Speaks Publicly About Termination as USA Swimming National Team Head Coach, Says Executive Director Wanted Him on the Job "Until 2020" -- Updated with Press Conference Video -- November 17, 2010

Open Letter to U.S. Coaches From Coach Bob Gillett -- November 20, 2010

USA Swimming Board of Directors Votes Down FINA Bureau Shakeup Proposal -- November 22, 2010

Of course, these posts are reporting some pretty hot topics in the world of swimming, so they deserve heavy discussion and input from those of us out in the world who care. Even with Jason Marsteller on the job keeping it clean, the string of opinions here is pretty darn good reading.

Please note that in the Mark Schubert press conference posting, the blog fight was so intense that for the first time I know of, lawyers got involved. Also, in the article about the FINA shake-up proposal, it was nice to hear John Leonard refer to the coaches commission as "fake." I am pretty sure several of us bloggers and commenters called them on that one when they got together to help FINA botch the suit list the first couple of times. In case you don't remember how that went down, check out this interview from way back that got 136 comments and the response I threw out there that brought on another 97.

Circle up, enjoy the battle, and be sure to throw in a couple of zingers when you get the chance. Yay internet!

*Jason, I am just giving you a hard time. You know I am glad you are there moderating. I don't miss the anonymous haters that much. :)

Craig Lord: The J. Jonah Jameson of Swimming

2010-11-18T07:35:00.000-08:00

Craig Lord's campaign to eradicate the costumed menace that is the shiny suits has not slowed, even after they were banned so long ago. When I read an article like the one released today, which highlights that no world records have been broken this year since non-permeable fabrics were banned, I chuckle and think of how similar Craig Lord's campaign is to that of J. Jonah Jameson, the editor of the Daily Bugle who has made it his life's mission to crush the costumed menace who plagues him: Spiderman. If Craig had his way, it would be Fred Bousquet being hauled to jail in a Jaked in this picture.

Spiderman was often blasted for interfering with police operations and for destruction of property when he helped put away the bad guys, and was conversely criticized when he wasn't there to get the job done, kind of like the way world record breakers should have been celebrated in 2008 but were instead often scorned because of the suits they wore. Jonah didn't quit pestering poor Peter Parker even when he quit the hero gig (multiple times) and even during the few times that everyone thought Spidey was dead. Superheroes always seem to come back. Maybe Craig still has legitimate fear that the suits will too. Who knows?

There have been a lot of writers who have handled the character of Jolly Jonah since he first appeared in 1963. The reasons for his hatred of the costumed characters has been speculated on for decades and it seems to always boil down to this: How can a normal guy compare in a world of superhumans who don't have to face the consequences that come with owning up to their actions? It is partly a matter of jealousy, and the fear that these men and women have more power than they have moral sense or responsibility, especially considering that many are hiding behind masks. Jonah is really a terrifically complex character who strangely represents our own subconscious resentment of humanity's innate need for leaders, heroes and even celebrities above us in society. While we build them up we feel we need to also tear them down.

The fact is, the Daily Bugle sells papers, partly because Jameson is outspoken and puts a dramatic spin on every editorial. He has become a media personality in the Marvel Universe who could be considered the Glenn Beck of a world where superheroes are a part of daily life, and is similar to Craig Lord in the world of swimming where world rankings, records, swimsuits and sponsorships are the topics we care about and want to read up on daily. Craig's mission against tech, as it has been in the fight against doping in the past and present, are important and still relevant, but I can't help getting a chuckle when I think about the nights that Mr. Lord must stay late at the office to pore over the final draft of his latest rant. I like to picture him typing the final phrases with frenzied adoration for his most inspired works, peeking out into the hallway to make sure no one else is around, putting on a red Jaked01, and doing this:

Of course, Jameson's son was an astronaut who flew to the moon and turned into a werewolf, which is part of a long list of other personal incidents he blames Spidey for... so I guess he has a pretty good excuse.

We love ya Craig. You keep writing it, we'll keep reading it.

Help my self-esteem. Like me on facebook...

2010-11-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

Help a brother out by spreading the word and getting me some likes on facebook. Click the pic below to go there and click the thumbs up button. And don't forget to click on the pic above to be able to enlarge it and read the word balloons. I put a lot of thought into it (not.) Apparently, all the bigwigs in swimming are excited to finally be my friend.
As a challenge, I'll buy you a brew if you an get any of the four people in that picture to actually admit they are Viking fans by liking my page. (I don't know how you will prove it to take credit, but it is worth putting that out there.) Thanks, dudes!

Looks like we might get some answers straight from Schubert himself!

2010-11-17T07:02:00.000-08:00

From SwimNews.com, Nov. 17, 2010:

The break-up between USA Swimming and former national team coach Mark Schubert is about to get ugly: Schubert has called a news conference this morning at the International Swimming Hall of Fame in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, to discuss his dismissal...

Read more here in the AP article run in the Washington Post.

We coaches hear this every day...

2010-11-16T08:59:00.000-08:00

Whoever made this is pretty darn brilliant. Please pardon the language, it adds to the hilarity.

High School Highlights

2010-11-13T06:28:00.000-08:00

Those of us who have high school season in the fall are now in championship season and I want to draw a little attention to the meets I have been paying attention to:

Last weekend was the Alaska boys and girls state meet. My old high school had a pretty phenomenal year. Remember, our school has less than 200 students and is on an island. Keep that in mind when you look at the results. This is a school that has sent a disproportionate amount of students on to college programs, including a guy who split an 18.6 50 free on a medley relay for Auburn pre-tech. This year they took fourth overall at state and junior Preston Marsh won the 200 IM. Read the article here. Check out the results here. Preston destroyed my old 200 IM team record. No hard feelings. He is actually the nephew of a couple of my good friends in high school. I lasted 19 years on the board. That's long enough. Congrats to the Vikings on a great year!

The Missouri HS boys meet prelims were pretty stellar last night. I am about to head over to watch my diver in a few minutes. My swimmer who is at his first state meet ever actually earned a spot in the B final. As far as the prelims go, in my opinion the schools from SW MO seemed to steal the show. Nik Brink and Matt Margritier are going into the final with a tie (45.69) in the 100 free. It is gonna be a fun day. There should be live video here in case anyone wants to watch the finals. Diving starts at 9:30 and swimming finals start at 3:00 CST. Good luck to all who are heading into the fray today!

Schubert is Out...?!

2010-11-12T20:25:00.000-08:00

Just in case you don't have ESPN on your RSS feed:

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/swimming/news/story?id=5796789

I am sure that many people out there on deck at the big meets know a lot of things that us guys out of the loop never hear, but I never really thought the leave of absence would go beyond the sixty days. Now more than ever, I want to hear the whole story. Anyone out there got any insight they can share?

What part of "Permeable" do you not understand?

2010-11-11T20:08:00.000-08:00

I did not have any worries about swimsuits this year; at least, not until one of my swimmers asked if I had seen his LZR Pro. This was at our last practice before we hit the road for the Missouri High School boys meet. Watch what he wanted to show me.

Please note-- this suit has the FINA barcode. This suit is approved without question. I looked for the wording of the actual FINA rule and couldn't find it, but on the Missouri HS Activities site it says "As was discussed in the online rules reviews this year, officials can be assured that suits with the FINA barcode are legal under NFHS suit rules. The similarities between the rule sets, including a mandate for ‘textile material’ in both make this an easy way to confirm legality."

It also says "material shall be woven/knit textile, permeable (100% to air and water.)"

So, I guess I don't know what the testing process is to earn FINA approval... but I am pretty sure that it can't be a real rigorous process. It doesn't pass my test, and mine is pretty darn unscientific. "Does water pass through the fabric? NO? FAIL."

Doesn't it seem like a suit wouldn't be able to be used as a canteen if the fabric was even a little bit permeable? If I wore that suit as underwear, I wouldn't need to take bathroom breaks. I could just empty the leg at the end of the day. Know what I'm saying?

Luckily, Austin only wasted $190 and one race on this piece of junk. It was certainly not a performance enhancer. It served as a ridiculously expensive set of brakes.

Mark Schubert's Leave of Absence

2010-11-09T09:34:00.001-08:00

My favorite part of the McCaffreyCap on SwimmingWorld.TV is the awesome photoshop pictures Garrett has made of USA National Team Head Coach Mark Schubert. The mysterious leave of absence really hasn't gotten enough of that kind of attention. So, of course, on the bus the other day I decided I was gonna play around with a couple of iphone apps to see what I could come up with in my speculation of how Mark might be spending his down time:

Maybe he has been working out to finally get his modeling career off the ground:

He could totally fit in with the cast of Glee as a substitute teacher. I think they are doing Grease 2 that week. I think he is playing Eugene. Can't you see him being a love interest for Sue Sylvester?

I heard his Motley Crue cover band finally got a gig.

Come on, you know you wanna party with that guy!

Not as good as Garrett's hot tub time machine pic, but still not too bad for getting all this done on my phone while I was waiting to get 3G service back so I could finish watching Dead Snow on my Netflix app. If you have any pics or ideas, send them to me and I will post. Enjoy.

Dead Snow Trailer
Uploaded by dreadcentral. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

2nd Annual Pink Speedo Night

2010-11-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't had time to report on this year's pink speedo night at our home meet on October 26th. Last year was a surprise for our diving coach, but this year all fall sports at our school made a BCA effort and raised over $4400 for the cause!

This year we had pink caps donated for the team to wear and had a successful raffle. Our team mom's made posters to honor the family members who have fought the fight against breast cancer personally. There were several survivors in the crowd, and the crowd was much larger than it would have been for a normal quad. It was a heck of an event and we are very proud.

Don't forget, it is not too late to vote for our pink pic from last year to go on the Jones Soda label. Let me know if your team or school did something pink this fall. It means a lot to those who need the support!

A Moment of Silence for Fran Crippen

2010-11-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

Did you participate in the worldwide tribute on Saturday? If so, how?

Thor Movie Teaser!

2010-10-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

Yay!

Death Race 2010

2010-10-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

I was recently sent a link to an awesome article in Outside Magazine about Peak Racing's Death Race.

No, not that Death Race, silly!

This one. The real deal.

...and here is the link to another good article from '09 in the New York Times. I love the whole concept. I wrote about it last year when one of the founders, former Missouri State distance record holder Andy Weimberg tried to get me to sign up. Andy is the kind of guy who considers the triple Ironman to be a warm-up.

Go ahead. Read about it. It's the closest you'll ever get to finishing it.

The Captain America Movie!

2010-10-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

Hey, I know all y'all are as excited as I am about the fact that the Captain America movie is going to be released on my birthday next summer. I am really just posting this here so that I have an excuse to brag. Rather than post pictures of the authentic Captain America shield hanging at my house, or my four Captain America t-shirts, or the boxer shorts, or even the tattoo on my back...

I am just gonna post a few pics I pulled from the web, and an awesome preview of the video game that is gonna accompany the release of the movie. I once had a man come up to me and start a conversation about my Captain America t-shirt at a local Relay for Life event. He told me that when he was in WWII he loved the comics and he even mentioned the cover above where Cap is punching Hitler in the face. I wanted to hug the guy.

More Captain America: Super Soldier Videos

I get pretty worried every time a comic movie is released. They have screwed up so many over the years... but this time, I think that Marvel taking control of the movies based on their characters has at least given the best brains in the industry a chance to give their input. I am pumped for this, especially since we all know it is going to lead up to tie-ins galore and the formation of the original Avengers for the big screen. Most people don't realize that the modern day Cap is actually the same guy from the comics in the 40's, so this movie being set in World War II is going to help the non-comic geeks to understand him from an important perspective. He was a hero from our greatest generation trying to get along in modern America. It provides a great contrast to showcase just how different our world is from the world of our grandparents.

This is a fanboy's dream come true.

Worldwide Tribute to Fran Crippen

2010-10-29T05:33:00.000-07:00

I think we might put flowers in the water just before we play the national anthem at the meet our club is hosting this weekend. The meet starts at 9:30am, which fits the timeline for the event perfectly. The picture is a link to the facebook event page where you can get more details.

The Viking might be taking this alumni meet a little too seriously...

2010-10-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

We were playing around in morning practice the other day and came up with this vid. I am pretty proud of it. I am not even a hundred percent sure I will be able to make it to the alumni meet, but I am totally jazzed to race with the handicap if I do. We are racing a 50 of each stroke and I get to subtract .3 from my 50 times for every year since my college career ended. That means that I get to subtract 4.5 seconds from every 50 and 18 seconds total! Heck yeah! I hope some more guys from my generation show up.

Please leave me a comment to confirm that this is the best swimming youtube video of all time.

Also, please note the subtle plug for Tyr products at the end. Come on Tyr, with me on your marketing team you can't lose! I made this during morning practice on a $0 budget! Hire me already! I could be the Don Draper of Viking related swim merchandise and I would make a hell of a mascot to break you into the "chubby guys who want to swim faster in the triathlon and have the confidence to still wear a brief" market! Come on, you know you want me on board!

The Destruction of Professional Basketball!

2010-10-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

According to Yahoo! Sports, the NBA has determined that this shoe, developed by Athletics Propulsion Labs, gives an "unfair advantage" with it's "Load N' Launch" technology. It increases vertical leap significantly.

Uh-oh.

I was just about to light the "Craig Lord Signal" over the city to stamp out this menace before it could destroy professional basketball, until I read that the NBA just decided to ban it.

It's simple really. They just said "no."

You mean, that's it? Wow.

...and the best part is, the article opens by saying that nobody in the NBA really wanted to wear them anyway. Oh well. Disaster averted, I guess.

How much you wanna bet that getting on the NBA banned list actually increases sales of this shoe? Maybe Lochte oughtta add the Load N' Launch tech to his shoes just for fun.

TYR's new ad!

2010-10-15T05:25:00.000-07:00

I am a little disappointed that TYR hasn't sponsored me yet. I have been campaigning for a couple of years now. They are gonna wish they had after I tear up the alumni meet at Missouri State next weekend. With my 4.2 second handicap on each 50 on account of my old age, I am gonna be eating all the young bucks alive.

Oh, well. I still have to give TYR props for a great ad and for acknowledging the origin of the brand name. Tyr has a great story. He sacrificed his hand to the wolf Fenrir as part of a plot to trick him and keep him bound with a magic rope after he broke free from every chain the Gods could make. Now that's a team player!

Hats off to Jarrett Perry

2010-10-13T05:33:00.000-07:00

At a meet once in Oklahoma City, summer Sectionals I think, a few of my senior club boys were laughing about being startled by "the guy with one leg." Apparently Jarrett Perry was talking to one of them behind the blocks at warm-up and my swimmer hadn't noticed yet that he had a prosthetic leg until he "popped it off" and jumped in to warm up. It was pretty hilarious, really. One of the kids who had been around a while was trying to describe to them how Jarrett jumps up onto the block and takes his marks for his races. There was no disrespect. They were marveling over how athletic he is and what a great guy he seemed to be.

One of my new fish was really curious about it and wanted to see him swim. Well, of course, in the 100 back that day, they ended up swimming next to each other in the prelim. My guy got schooled. Mind you, this kid was a 53-mid scy backstroker. He was hailed as a hero in our high school swimming conference, and he just got beat by the guy with one leg. I can't put my finger on why, but as a coach, there was something really satisfying about the whole scene.

Jarrett Perry is retiring. This guy has had a heck of a career at WSC and at Colorado Springs, and has been a tremendous inspiration throughout his career. Most people don't know this bit of trivia, but in 2004, his coach at WSC, Eric Nelson, was the first coach ever to put a swimmer on both the USA Olympic and Paralympic teams in the same cycle when Jarrett and Caroline Bruce both earned spots while still in high school. Here is the post from the Missouri Valley LSC website:

Jarrett, an accomplished swimmer and two-time USA Paralympian, has hung up his suit and retired from the sport of swimming. During Jarrett’s years of swimming he has compiled a long list of accomplishments, including: Olympic Gold and Bronze Medalist, World Record Holder (100 and 200 Backstroke), 100 Backstroke World Champion, American Record Holder, and two-time US team captain. If you are not familiar with Jarrett’s story, he was diagnosed at birth with Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome and at two days old had one of his legs amputated. Jarrett joined the Wichita Swim Club at age four and competed in his first national-level meet at age ten. From there, Jarrett’s swimming success really took off. Jarrett has been part of the Missouri Valley family since 1991, and has impacted swimmers, parents, coaches and officials with his warm heart and fierce competitive spirit. Missouri Valley is proud of all Jarrett has accomplished and the positive way he has represented the sport of swimming, the Wichita Swim Club, and Missouri Valley!

Congrats on a great career, Jarrett.

Please vote for our PINK pic!

2010-10-08T05:30:00.000-07:00

Jones Soda is having a contest to see if anyone can submit a picture that they like enough to turn into a soda label for their regular distribution. One of my team mom's took this picture last October on our first annual pink speedo night and submitted it to the Jones Soda website. Please visit the site and give our pic a 10 point vote. It would be pretty cool if this little thing we did to support our beloved diving coach through her chemotherapy and surgery could be celebrated by winning this contest.

After we made such an impression on our school last year, our student council organized pink events for every fall sport and has already raised a couple grand to support local breast cancer awareness through t-shirt sales and raffles. Our second annual pink night will be October 26th and this year a good friend and local breast cancer survivor donated pink caps to go with our suits. I am anticipating our best dual meet crowd ever.

To vote, go to www.jonessoda.com, click "photos and labels," then "photo gallery" and type "pink speedo" in the search bar. You can't miss our picture. Please pass it on!

The start of every high school invitational I have ever hosted...

2010-10-01T10:09:00.000-07:00

Uhh... now what do I do?

“Welcome to the Red Bird Invitational. We are set for a 1:00 start. This is the time when we need volunteers to come down behind the blocks to run stopwatches. If you are a volunteer timer, please check in with the referee near the starters booth at this time…”

Six minutes pass…

“We are hoping for a 1:00 start, but we are going to need twelve volunteer timers to run stopwatches behind the blocks. We can’t start the meet until we have twelve people back there helping us out. Anyone can do it and we need all the help we can get. Please come on down. Thank you.”

Four more minutes pass…

“It’s just about one o'clock right now and we still need eight more volunteer timers. There is no pressure here folks. We have a timing system. The times are only needed for back-up in case the system were to malfunction. Even if you have never timed at a meet before, it is no big deal. Our referee will show you everything you need to know. It really is an easy job and you get the best seat in the house; except when they take their marks, but then you just have to look away for a couple of seconds. It’s not as traumatic as you might imagine. Please help us get started. Thank you.”

Three more minutes pass…

“Okay guys. We are already getting a late start. I apologize but we still need four more volunteers to run stopwatches. All you need is a thumb. Stop. Start. Reset. That’s it. You don’t even need both thumbs. Just one will get the job done...”

“All of you in the bleachers-- if you have thumbs, don’t raise your hand.”

“I thought so. That means you are qualified! Please come grab a stopwatch and a clipboard. Let‘s get this party started!”

One more minute passes…

“Cows can’t volunteer to time. They don’t have thumbs. My dog tried to volunteer, but he doesn’t have thumbs either. I used to have a pet monkey. I didn’t let him try to time because he was always drunk, but now that I think about it, even a drunk monkey could probably time. No, really. He had a thumb. Just like you. Please, let’s get some volunteers to get the meet moving.”

“Don‘t make my swimmers do it. Please. That‘s just plain wrong.”

45 more seconds…

“Come on people… We could be using our thumbs to time races but instead we are all standing around with them up our... Oh, wait. We got enough?! Okay!”

“We are ready to start the meet. Yeeeeee-hah! All timers are in place. I am pumped! You other three people in the bleachers who aren’t timing oughtta get a wave going or something! It‘s time for some fast swimming!”

“Go Red Birds!”

Beats to Pillage and Conquer By...

2010-09-29T06:51:00.000-07:00

Between Rhapsody and Pandora, I have spent a lot of time finding good background grooves to keep my practices moving and also to keep a subtle layer of smooth beneath the stress. I stumbled across Rob the Viking while I was searching for something else entirely.

Go ahead. Type "Rob the Viking" into your Pandora playlist. You will be introduced to some of the smoovest instrumental, experimental trip-hop tracks and artists you never found because you didn't know you were searching for them.

Seriously. It's not a rap thing. Give it a try. You can't deny the awesomeness.

I think I'm in love...

2010-09-28T17:20:00.001-07:00

I love you, Royal Red Robin.

There; I said it. It's out there now and I can't take it back.

I know that our relationship started in a way that might seem dirty and lustful to most. We met at the bar. I was intrigued by your bottomless fries and I thought that the way you wear your fried egg was cute, almost as if it were a throwback in honor of a comforting breakfast sandwich from my youth. I decided to muster up the courage to order you and I have never looked back since. One flirtatious glance, and I was all yours.

I have been trying to eat healthier, really. I choose salads when I visit Wendy. With the Colonel, I have switched to the grilled chicken. Even last night, in the throes of our passion, I only ate two baskets of fries, when in the past I might have eaten so many more. I feel our relationship has matured over time, but I still am worked up into such a frenzy when you are near, that I couldn't resist adding the extra burger patty and gulping down that chocolate shake last night.

I am hooked on you.

Royal Red Robin, I guess what I am trying to say is, I am ready to commit. Let's cast away the trivialities of the modern hustle and bustle of city life. I no longer need other foods to sustain me and even Chinese buffet's now seem promiscuous and silly. Let's run away together. I am on my knee here.

I can't believe I am doing this...

Royal Red Robin... will you marry me?

Red Robin... YUM!

Missouri State Bears Alumni Weekend!

2010-09-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

Let's all get together and chat about how glad we are that they got rid of the stupid "Bear jumping through the U" logo!

The picture above is a link to it so you can declare whether you are coming or not. Please click it. This is the info, straight from the facebook event page:

Time	Friday, October 22 at 12:00pm - October 23 at 10:30pm

Location	Springfield, MO

Created By	Joshua Udermann

More Info	Fri. October 22, 2010 -- Meet vs. Drury 5:00 PM Sat. October 23, 2010 -- Football Game vs. Western IL 1:00 PM ... -- Alumni Intrasquad Meet 5:00 PM -- Alumni Social @ Mille’s Cafe 8:00 PM (appetizers provided) BRING YOUR SUITS! Alumni Challenge- Swimmers will compete in 4 x 50’s (1 of each stroke). Their time will be handicapped based on how many years since they last competed for the Bears. Based on the cumulative time for the 4 x 50’s an overall Male & Female winner will be crowned. Handicap Formula: 1-5 years out (.10 seconds per year) 6-10 years out (.20 seconds per year) 11-15 years out (.30 seconds per year) 16-20 years out (.40 seconds per year) 21 years + (.50 seconds per year) Example: Bryan Cavaness (last year of competition ’82) 14 seconds off each 50 time. Allison Zeller (last year of competition ’06) .40 seconds off each 50 time. Please RSVP on this event page or by contacting Joshua Udermann. 612-804-7316 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 612-804-7316 end_of_the_skype_highlighting udermann1@live.missouristate.edu Feel free to contact me with any questions! Also please help us spread the word and invite other alumni! See you at the meet!

You’re watching TSV, your source for swim-celebrity gossip!

2010-09-08T06:41:00.000-07:00

Wait... What's this? She's the last person I thought I'd see here!

That’s right! If you’ve had a night out clubbing in LA recently, you might have run into Aussie swim star Stephanie Rice out having a good time. But she is not just hitting any clubs; she is gaining a presence on the gay scene in an effort to restore her image after losing her Jaguar sponsorship over an anti-gay slur posted on her twitter account. Apparently, lots of people were upset over the tweet in which she told the South African Rugby team to “suck on that, Fa**ots!”

According to her publicist, Steph will be rebuilding her marketability on a 12 city American tour of gay bars that will end with an appearance on June 26th at San Francisco’s gay pride parade.

When asked about her anti-gay tweet, Steph had only this to say, “I did not mean to cause offense and I apologize. I have deleted it from the site. I only hope that people understand that I am an avid rugby fan and I tweeted in the high emotions of a hotly contested match. Many of my friends are gay South African rugby players. Really! I only meant for the word fa**ot to come across in the most non-homophobic way possible.”

Good luck with that Steph! We at TSV support your efforts to bring a little tolerance to the world of sports, and to look good doing it!

Stephanie Rice at a totally gay after party, looking hot as usual!

this Viking helmet is so money!

2010-08-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

Isn't that how the kids say it nowadays?

Petersburg, Alaska

2010-08-05T06:55:00.000-07:00

I know that Nats are going on and there is a lot to talk about in swimming, but I had to post these vids from home that I just discovered. For me, this time of year was all about swimming in the summers I went to Zones. With the Alaskan team back in the day we went down a week early to adjust to the heat. It made for an awesome trip. On the summers I wasn't able to swim, early August meant we were finally starting to put the crab pots away if the Dungies were getting scarce enough. Halibut was the other fishery I worked in, and you will see several of those on the vids. A lot of the footage is also taken at Icicle Seafoods, where I used to work 8am to midnight, 7 days a week through the summer when I wasn't on the boat catching bottom dwellers.

In the first video, you can actually see a boat I worked on (for a one weekend job) and my old school Superintendent, Mr. Wright, does most of the talking. At 57 seconds in, you can even get a look at one of my old girlfriend's from high school. :) The second video has is a clip from a National Geographic video that has some good footage of the town. If you ever want to take a trip to AK, shoot me an email and I can give you some advice to make the most of it.

Please Send Entries to the Reaper

2010-07-31T17:49:00.000-07:00

Just so you know, registration for the PEAK "Death Race" is now open. They are only taking 100 entries, so you better hurry and get your stuff turned in. Just be aware. Last year only 9 people finished. Don't miss out!

http://youmaydie.com/

The Swim Geek Showdown: What's in a name, anyway?

2010-07-29T12:10:00.000-07:00

"Lo, there do I see my father. Lo, there do I see my mother, and my sisters, and my brothers. Lo there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning. They do call to me. They bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever."

In case you haven't been paying attention, Chris DeSantis has thrown down the gauntlet. He has decided to enter the fray with David Rieder, “The Swim Geek,” in his prediction contest to see who can most accurately pick the Pan-Pac Team to be chosen at the upcoming US Nationals. At stake: David Rieder’s online moniker.

If I had the resources, I would make an awesome WWF-style commercial for them with my movie editing software. I want to hype up this showdown. It could be a really great blog fight, and the prize is worth fighting for.

I am all about the gimmick. I have been calling myself “The Screaming Viking!” since way back when the only swim blog site out there was Timed Finals. The name has some meaning for me. If you follow my blog you know that my home town, Petersburg, Alaska is obsessed with their Norske heritage and I do miss my home terribly. My high school and swim club mascots were Vikings when I was growing up, and I get pretty sentimental about all that. Heck, I even wanted to write the demand for a Viking funeral into my will long before I ever became a blogger.

Beyond that though is the humor factor. Hopefully you are old enough to remember the famous episode of Cheers where Sam, Norm, Carla and Woody conspired to run off the snobby new bartender by coming up with a drink that he had never heard of: the made up concoction they called The Screaming Viking. I am certain that it is a well known episode, because several commenters at floswimming have asked if I “prefer my cucumber bruised.”

That part has never been about naming my blog after a drink or a sitcom episode. It’s weirder than that. You see, I have always had this crazy fantasy that some day I will walk into a local tavern and… well, you’ll just have to see it. (Watch the video from about 18:30 to 21:45 and pay attention to the old guy when he walks in the door at around 21:05.)

I want this to happen to me someday, somewhere… hopefully when I am about 85 years old and walking into the bar at the hotel where I am receiving my ISHOF induction. (Yeah, right... I know. I said it was a fantasy.) I have remembered this gag since junior high when the show originally aired. I’m sure that somewhere in my subconscious, this scene was lying there waiting for it’s chance to influence me with my first creative endeavor. I just want to have a reason to spontaneously say that line. So if you just happen to sit next to me at a bar, please set me up for a good one liner by ordering a Screaming Viking.

There are a lot of cool blog names out there, but “The Swim Geek” is not just any name. It carries more weight than that. It implies that there can be only one. He who earns the honor, essentially becomes the King of the Swim Geeks, and that is a pretty large kingdom over which to hold dominion. Can the boy king continue to rule, or will the nerdiest of all the swim-nerds usurp the throne?

In a way, I hope that Chris wins, but only so he will add a little flash to his online persona and maybe come up with a new logo. I like the "Blue Ribbon" idea in his blog post, and maybe I could get my buddy Sly to make a cool banner like the participation ribbon picture he made for me a few months ago. It might make it easier to dress up in a Chris DeSantis costume if we ever really have a Swim-Nerd convention. But then again, I also hope that David gets to keep the nickname that was affectionately given to him at Swimming World, the same way we distributed nicknames to new members on every team I have ever been on.

Whoever wins, I hope they take the name and run with it. Good lick guys. I have a feeling it’s gonna be a fierce brawl.

Some Podcasts You Might Enjoy

2010-07-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

My wife has become a podcast junkie. The swim-related podcasts are easy for me to get into, but right now there is really only one on itunes, and obviously I am a loyal listener; I have been on the podcast. :)

I have started a collection on my ipod of some really cool stuff from itunes. One of the best podcasts ever is APM's "The Story." Imagine how awesome it was when I stumbled across this one, Making a Splash, about Swimming Paralympian Tucker Dupree and his journey to Beijing. Tucker didn't lose his sight until high school, and it makes for a very interesting story... which is why people like me would tune in to a podcast called "The Story."

While you are there, also take the time to look up the story of the blogger who calls himself "Fat Cyclist." This guy's blog and the meaningful things he has done with it blow away all of the swim blogs put together. I am way jealous. All I ever managed to do as The Screaming Viking was start a couple of fun arguments that won't ever really change anything. Fat Cyclist raised hundreds of thousands of dollars in the fight against cancer and got to ride with Lance Armstrong and Team RadioShack on a custom bike. Heck, maybe we should start a movement on my blog, where I can someday have an eating contest with Michael Phelps in a custom-made brief. Not quite as cool, but it is probably the best I could shoot for with the support of my nine loyal readers.

Check out the podcasts, but I will warn you: to hear the full-length podcasts, you may need to download them from itunes.

I Won a T-Shirt from The Wobbly Block!

2010-07-27T12:10:00.001-07:00

I got a package from across the pond the other day. Apparently, one of my ideas got turned into a t-shirt through a contest held by the British swimming humor site The Wobbly Block. Go to their online store, The Wobbly Shop, and order some gear. While you are there, take a little time to browse their archives. They have posted some pretty funny stuff, including this picture below, of a guy with whom I really want to party.

Free Swim Lessons!

2010-07-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

The school I work at is one of the rare few in Missouri that has a pool attached to the high school. In Alaska, it was very common, but in the midwest it is exceptionally rare. Our pool is busy from 5am to 9pm every day, all year, with swim teams, water aerobics, lessons, PE classes, community open swim hours... you name it, we probably offer it. If other school districts could see just how much use we get in our small town, there is no doubt they would see that if they invested in a pool, they would get their money worth. It is not just an asset to the school district; it is extremely valuable to the entire community.

When students enroll for Kindergarten in our school district, they are given the option to sign up for two weeks of free swim lessons. Since the lessons are in July, this is one of their first school experiences, and often I have high schoolers in class who tell me they still remember coming in to learn how to swim way back before they even started school. It always feels good to know that the experience left a lasting impression. We run about two hundred swimmers through our five stations, and many of them are able to swim in the deep end and jump off the diving board in ten lessons or less. The rest will leave the program at least a little more "water safe" because we emphasize the daily safety lessons just as much as we do the swimming skills. The parents take home coloring sheets every day to help teach and re-teach common sense water safety to their children.

I added the little part on the end, just in case you want to use this video to help convince your community to get started on a bond issue to build a swim facility. If they have any questions about all the ways a school system can maximize their water time, feel free to have them contact me. Enjoy.

Having Fun On Deck

2010-07-13T15:14:00.000-07:00

Every coach needs to have a video camera on them all the time. There is just too much good stuff you can get every day to put on your team website. Summer league swim fans, enjoy!

Instinctive Drowning Response

2010-07-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

Super swim fan Ahelee Sue Osborn posted this link on her facebook to an article about drowning that everyone should read. I teach a similar lesson to every swim unit that comes through our facility. I plan to laminate this article and post it on the wall. He does an excellent job of describing the Instinctive Drowning Response and why it does not look like what most people think they will see in a drowning situation.

From the article: "The Instinctive Drowning Response – so named by Francesco A. Pia, Ph.D., is what people do to avoid actual or perceived suffocation in the water. And it does not look like most people expect. There is very little splashing, no waving, and no yelling or calls for help of any kind. To get an idea of just how quiet and undramatic from the surface drowning can be, consider this: It is the number two cause of accidental death in children, age 15 and under (just behind vehicle accidents) – of the approximately 750 children who will drown next year, about 375 of them will do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult. In ten percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch them do it, having no idea it is happening (source: CDC)."

"So if a crew member falls overboard and everyone looks O.K. – don’t be too sure. Sometimes the most common indication that someone is drowning is that they don’t look like they’re drowning. They may just look like they are treading water and looking up at the deck. One way to be sure? Ask them: “Are you alright?” If they can answer at all – they probably are. If they return a blank stare – you may have less than 30 seconds to get to them. And parents: children playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why."

When we teach our Pre-K swim lessons, I take the time to give the parents a lecture on never letting their children swim alone even after they become good swimmers and even at their pool at home. We send home coloring sheets for the children with daily safety lessons on them and we ask the parents to please help to make sure they understand. I feel that the safety lessons are just as important for the parents to read as they are for the children.

I was lucky. I grew up on an island where the entire economy was based on commercial fishing. Swimming safety was a part of our curriculum from Kindergarten to 6th grade. Swimming was a priority that everyone agreed was a good investment. Our population was only 3000 people, and somehow they managed to pass a multi-million dollar bond issue for a new facility when the pool I grew up in needed replaced. How is it that major cities can't pull that off?

In Southeast Alaska, families did not have swimming pools at their homes, which statistics show presents a lot more risk than living near a harbor or in a town on the coast. In my opinion, communities throughout the lower 48 need to start the swimming safety curriculum in pre-school, and swimming safety brochures need to be handed to parents along with the other information they hand out the day they check out of the hospital with their first born child. It is that important. We have a responsibility to educate children and parents alike, and that education needs to start as early as possible.

Give the article a read. Even a swim coach could learn something from it. You might want to print one for your facility as well.

Goggles as a Life Lesson?

2010-07-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago, Chris DeSantis posted something on his facebook about the super expensive goggles that his swimmers insisted on ordering, and someone chimed in that he needs to force them to suck it up and just learn to live with a three dollar pair of Swedes. Then, someone else brought up the very valid point that if you are the coach who gets everyone Swedes, then you are committing yourself to spending a whole lot of time putting them together for all of the otherwise capable people who can't figure them out.

Been there. Done that. I totally get it. My high school just buys us a box of Swedes every season. Each swimmer gets one pair for free. If you want something fancier, you buy it yourself.

You would think that high schoolers could just take them out of the package and make it work... right? During the first season of free Swedes, I spent more time putting together and adjusting goggles than I did coaching kids. It got a little frustrating.

How did I solve it? I took a lesson from John Wooden. The legendary UCLA basketball coach actually took time every season to teach his athletes how to properly pull up their socks and tie their shoes. Mind you, these were some of the best ball players in NCAA history, on what might still be considered the most disciplined team of all time. These were not random kids coming in from the playground. I can imagine that there was a lot of eye rolling, and I am sure that some of his freshmen thought he was just a silly old midwestern hick for re-teaching them something they learned in Kindergarten, but his logic was solid. It was about proper preparation. Shoes coming untied can cause damage of Three Stooges-esque proportions, and something as simple as a wrinkle in a sock can cause a painful blister. No one wants to be the athlete who sits out, or performs less than their best, because of something as preventable as that. Think about it. That's a great life lesson, right?

So now, I have made it my routine to take time during the first week of practice to teach my swimmers to put together and adjust their swedish goggles. They are expected to be prepared with a back-up pair. They are expected to know how tight they should be for practice and meets. They should know how to dive without causing them to fall off. Most importantly, after the one time I cover it, they are expected to be able to teach each other, so that if someone needs help, they don't come to me. It is a responsibility shared among teammates.

Of course, my intentions aren't quite as noble as those of Coach Wooden. He taught them about shoes and socks because he believed in Boy Scout level preparation and the prevention of injuries. I idolize John Wooden. Every coach on earth should study his career and philosophy. Could the goggle thing be considered a life lesson? I like to think so... but I have to admit that I only started teaching my swimmers about proper preparation and goggles because I just got sick of dealing with them myself all the dang time. I mean, no one would ever expect basketball coaches to follow their athletes around to pull up their socks and tie their shoes for them all the time, right?

Swimming Videos on Floswimming

"What His Swimsuit Says About Him"

2010-07-07T11:34:00.001-07:00

I haven't had much time to blog, but I had to post this link. When I logged out of my hotmail, I saw that MSN was running a feature called "What His Swimsuit Says About Him." It is a little humor written for the ladies and it has pics of Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte in a brief and a LZR respectively. This is what they had to say about the full-body "pro gear":

First, let’s take in the perfection that is Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte. However, his look is one best reserved for the pros. “Unless you are training for the Summer Olympics or Iron Man, the swim jammers are a no-go for Summer 2010," says Vogel. "You may feel like a champion, but I promise you will not win the gold with this look."

Dang... I guess Craig Lord must have gotten to the fashion blog crowd too.

Lots going on

2010-06-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

I have been way too busy to post much. Between summer school and all of my other responsibilities I hardly have time to breathe, but still it has been a pretty fun summer. I spent the weekend at my first USA meet in over three years. I had fun even though it was in the high 90's all weekend. It was 10 lanes and prelim/final in Ft Smith, Arkansas, so it was very different from the summer league stuff I had been doing.

I like to tell the little guys on my teams that if they DQ, they have to buy me something from Dairy Queen... so it was a nice surprise on my weekly Monday field trip to the zoo when we came across the DQ mobile giving away free Blizzards. Maybe I can get them to come to one of my home meets and kids can turn in their DQ slips for a discount. Another surprise: one of the workers giving away the free Blizzards was a girl who was on the club where I took my first assistant coaching gig 14 years ago. She is about to enter her last season of swimming at the Savannah College of Art & Design, and is home for the summer and working out in the heat. As Steven Wright said, "it's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."

At the zoo, I also got lucky and took this video of an otter with my phone. They are my favorite part of the zoo. They really put on a show today.

I feel bad that I haven't had time lately to post about the new "Swim Blogs United" effort. I am really excited about it. I have to hand it to Andy and Braden and The Swimmers Circle. They have been at the center of a really spectacular initiative to raise awareness to save college swimming programs. Read about it here. If you wish to donate, if you click on the SBU Logo on the right hand side of my blog, it will take you to a Go For 5 page that is set up to track donations made through us. Please give to the cause. I even put a two full page ad in the heat sheet of the summer league meet we hosted last weekend. If you are hosting a meet, go to the Go for 5 site and print their pdf's to put in yours! Help us get the word out any way you can!!

Wanna Work with the Viking?

2010-06-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

I don't have all the details yet, but the club I founded will be looking for a head coach to start in August. If you are curious and want to hear more, let me know. Our part of the country is one of the cheapest to live in and even through we are not in a metro area we draw swimmers in from a large radius as well.

We will want someone who is a good communicator, is willing to learn the ins and outs of the Team Unify website and serve as an administrator, is willing and able to work with all ability levels, and can help to train assistant coaches to create a good system from beginners to the top. When we formally post the job opening I will put a link up. Spread the word if you know someone looking to move. We got a club to build!

The New SwimmingWorld.TV !

2010-06-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else noticed that if you type SwimmingWorld.TV into your address bar, it takes you someplace different than where the link from Swimming World's site takes you? Go ahead, try it. You will be impressed. SWTV has been completely redesigned!

They aren't doing a grand opening yet as it is still under construction, but Jason Marsteller gave me a sneak peek and has finally given me permission to "Release the Hounds!" I have spent a little time browsing the site and I am very excited. It looks like the TV site is just the first phase of a complete overhaul of Swimming World Magazine's web presence. From the looks of what they have done so far, it will be a tremendous improvement.

Their flash on the main page has a great look. Their archives are much easier to search than in the past. My favorite new feature: when you are on an Event page, you can easily pull up any event you want to watch from their event list on the left side of the page.

Check it out!

Randy Horner is heading to Miami!

2010-05-27T11:02:00.001-07:00

I have known about it for a couple of weeks, and now I guess it is safe to announce it. The cat is out of the bag. My good friend Randy Horner is making the move from the University of New Orleans to Florida International University.

Best of luck with the transition!

Speaking of OLD PEOPLE...

2010-05-26T12:36:00.000-07:00

I call Jim Whytlaw the “papa smurf” of Missouri swimming because not only does he have the white hair and the wisdom, but he also sports a red shirt and blue Crocs on deck often and that is where my “child of the 80‘s“ brain goes when I see him wear them. Jim has been a high school coach in Springfield for 37 years. Before that he was an all-conference diver at BYU way back when competitive diving was still done from docks and bridges instead of springboards and platforms. Jim announced his retirement from coaching last night. I found the link on USA Today! I guess it is big news even outside of our little SW Missouri fish bowl.

Jim has had a lot of great teams at Glendale High School. His Win-Loss record is nearly impossible to fathom: 810-58!! His Falcons have finished in the top 4 at the MSHSAA meet 9 times. This year was their highest finish ever for boys and girls. Both teams were second place at the big meet, with an impressive move-up for the boys and a tremendous nail-biter for the girls. The girls’ championship came down to the last relay, where Glendale was edged out by three tenths at the end of one of the most exciting meets I have attended.

Jim has been an NFHS Regional Coach of the Year three times, and in 2008 he was chosen to be their National Coach of the Year. His local accolades are too numerous to list. He has been at the heart of swimming in Missouri for decades. There are pictures of several of Jim’s State Champions and All-Americans on the wall at the John H. Foster Natatorium that most of the teams in SW MO share for practices and meets. In the last few years of his career, he also helped Marshfield High School to start a team by just adding those responsibilities to his already busy workload.

It is easy to say that Coach Whytlaw has touched the lives of many students and swimmers who have gone on to become successful people when they go out into the world. He is a man who understands the place of athletics within the scholastic setting, and is not afraid to speak up to do what is right for kids. I pick on Jim about being old, only because he has become a good friend through coaching and he is quick to make those jokes about himself. He has never had any problem keeping up with us whippersnappers who weren’t even alive yet when he started teaching math.

Congratulations, Jim. May your retirement be as relaxing and rewarding as your coaching career was productive. It has been a joy and an honor to get my butt kicked by you for the last third of your career!

Swimming Videos on Floswimming

Schooled by the Masters!

2010-05-25T06:11:00.000-07:00

Anyone out there remember in 1986, how The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen helped to change everything in comics? Both were stories of superheroes coming out of retirement after disappearing for years. They were groundbreaking for many reasons. They were two of the books that forced the comics industry to grow up. For the first time, comic book authors had acknowledged that these characters must age like we do. Age brings different motivations and a whole new perspective. This was some hard-core fiction.

The picture is from the Dark Knight Returns, and it finally answered one of those long standing questions that comic geeks had argued about for decades: Could Batman defeat Superman? Hell yeah, he can. Even when he is aged and broken down. Even against someone who does not age and is virtually immortal, he was going to finish the fight as the last man standing. His age made the story that much more interesting. His motivations and tactics were very different because of it. He outmatched Supes in a story that screamed of symbolism, not just of the power of a mortal man fighting to uphold an ideal, but of men doing what is right as opposed to doing what is lawful. He was essentially "sticking it to The Man."

At Masters Nationals last weekend, Jon Blank turned in a 59.94 for his 100 scy breaststroke. Jon is 50 years old.

Waitaminnit... 50?

This isn't a comic book. It's for real. Good God, that is amazing! There were three guys in the 45-49 age group under 1:00 as well! So now my goal of getting under a minute in my teens, 20's and 30's doesn't seem like such a big deal. I need to hit it for two more decades to even keep up with these bad boys.

Also, don't get me started about Rich Abrahams and his 22.10 50 free. He is 65. Now that he is retirement age, I expect to see him get even faster. He will have more time to commit to being a bad-ass! I imagine the days of tech-suits are not over for this guy. He will be wearing it as he fights crime when he can't sleep at night because he can't contain the energy of his awesomeness. Maybe he will try something like the McNaughton Trail Run (200 Mile Ultra-Marathon) next.

In my eyes these people, and masters swimmers in general, are doing something heroic. They are making a statement as living symbols of an exciting ideal. They are showing us that age really means nothing and that fitness is a lifetime endeavor. In their own way, these guys are sticking it to The Man. They are telling The Man to get off his lazy butt and stop making excuses for not living his life to the fittest and fullest.

I almost feel bad for writing this. I feel that by marveling at their age, I might be insulting them. They are ignoring their age, and people like me keep bringing it up. I can imagine Dara Torres gets sick of talking about how old she is. Jaring Timmerman probably hates it even more. It's not like I am calling them "Oldy Olsen" and pointing my finger at them, but still... I just imagine that if I interviewed them and said something about how old they are, it might look a lot like that picture of Batman and Superman, with me getting punched in the face instead.

Masters swimming rocks. It seems to me that it is the perfect place to be surrounded by friends who share a love for the sport, in an environment that is both extremely laid-back and hard-core all at the same time.

I think it might be time for me to start a masters team in my neck of the woods. What should I call it?

SAVE UCD SPORTS!

2010-05-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

This note was a part of the CSCAA News- Post Convention Report. It was forwarded to me from someone on the mailing list. I have cut and pasted it here to help spread the word.

SAVE UCD SPORTS!
TAKE A YEAR, DO IT RIGHT

Please contact UC Davis Chancellor Katehi (530-752-2065 chancellor@ucdavis.edu ) and UC Davis Vice Chanceller Fred Wood ( 530 752-6866) fewood@ucdavis.edu ) let them know that you support reinstating the athletic teams for a one year window in order to allow a committee of faculty, administrators and students to fairly assess other potential budget cuts that could save these sports.

The decision making process has been filled with inequities, mistakes and a lack of transparency:

· UC Davis cut Men's Swimming and Diving, Men's Wrestling, Women's Rowing and Men's Indoor Track giving the teams only a 6 week notice.
· 85% of funding for UCD athletics comes from students voluntary self-tax
· 22% student-athletes cut
· 0% administrators and staff cut
· 1993 there were 1,000 student-athletes w/ $2 million budget
· Fall 2010 520 student-athletes w/students providing $12 million of budget
· Students had previously voted in 1993, 1994 and 2003 to voluntarily self-tax themselves to finance athletics on the condition that no teams be cut.
· Initially the Athletic Department was required to reduce their budget by $1.79 million. The chancellor was able to restore $1 million to the budget and yet the committee persisted in cutting the teams.
· 2 faculty members resigned from the committee due to concerns of fairness.
· Not a transparent or fair process

http://saveucdsports.com/

Totally Jealous... wishing I was at Masters Nats!

2010-05-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

I was hoping to make it to Masters Nationals this year, especially since it is the last weekend of the tech era. I have a lot of friends there, some of whom I have never met in person. I was really hoping to make a couple of funny videos while some of the swim bloggers all happened to be in one place. I guess that will have to wait.

If anyone out there has any cool stories or catches anything fun on video that you want to share with the world, shoot me an email and I would love to post! I think the atmosphere of Masters Swimming needs to be promoted and used as a selling point.

Good luck in Atlanta! Have fun and swim fast!

Viking Invasion!?

2010-05-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

Invade the village! Conquer! Pillage! Just make sure you are done in time for recess!

How do you know the party has crossed the line into awesomeness?

When you get an amazing picture like this.

Modern Viking invasions aren't quite the same as the ones you learned about in history class. Since I can't head home to Petersburg, Alaska for Mayfest I have to live vicariously through the pictures that everyone back home post on the web. This one almost brought a tear to my eye.

Skoal!

Don't forget to check out the pics at the Little Norway Vikings facebook page. It might not be too late to buy a t-shirt too!

Trailer: Pool Jumpers

2010-05-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I never saw this until this week. EPIC.

POOLJUMPERS trailer - watch more funny videos

Swimming lost a good friend

2010-05-17T06:58:00.001-07:00

This was posted on the Missouri Valley LSC website on May 13, 2010:

It is with our deep regret and sorrow to announce that Jim Devine, past General Chair and Sanctions Chair for Missouri Valley Swimming, unexpectedly passed away on Wednesday, May 12th, at the young age of 62. Jim was also an associate dean for academic affairs and longtime professor at the University of Missouri’s School of Law. As an ardent supporter and contributor to the sport of competitive swimming within the Missouri Valley LSC, and a life-time member of USA Swimming, Jim volunteered countless hours towards leading and improving our LSC, generously serving as a meet official for many meets, expanding the use of the MVS website, and contributing his knowledge of sports law in the furtherance of our sport. Jim also served on the National Board of Review for USA Swimming and the Counselors Committee. He ultimately received the Lifetime Membership Award from USA Swimming and the ConocoPhillips Service Award. Jim's leadership, contributions and love of our sport will be greatly missed. Jim is survived by his wife, Sharon; his three sons, Zach (Head Coach of the Lawrence Aquahawks), Josh and Noah; and the lasting impression he left on his law students and the entire swimming community. On behalf of the athletes, non-athletes, and parents within Missouri Valley, our thoughts and prayers are with Jim’s family and the MVS swimming community for such a huge loss to all.

Jim gave a lot to the sport of swimming and has earned the friendship and respect of a lot of good people. He will be missed.

...and so did The Metal.

2010-05-17T06:12:00.000-07:00

On Senior Night for my boys' high school swim team last year, one of my guys shared the story of his first freshman swim practice. He had never been part of a sport where the coach taught "Heavy Metal History Lessons."

Yes. Really. I do that.

My swimmers know as much about the gods of metal as they do about the stars of swimming. Lemmy Kilmister and Pablo Morales are equals at our facility. The legend of Diamond Head carries the same weight as the 4x 100 Free Relay at Beijing. When we make the horns, it is not the hook 'em horns of Texas... it is the horns of the headbanger.

We lost Ronnie James Dio this weekend. To me it is no coincidence that he passed away during Mayfest. He is being carried by Valkyries across the rainbow bridge to Valhalla as we speak.

Was Bill Boomer the Fifth Beatle?

2010-05-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

I originally posted this one back at floswimming. I got an email response from Sean Hutchison about it and was thrilled that he enjoyed it. I am posting it here today because SWTV just re-posted the interview with Bill Boomer that I was referring to in the blog, and they are right-- it is just as relevant today as it was when they recorded it.

I have always had a theory about the Beatles. I am waiting for Paul McCartney to finally let us all in on the joke. I think that when the Beatles realized they were more popular than Jesus, they all decided that they were going to test their fame. They started putting out albums that no one could possibly respect as legitimate music. They wanted to see if we would keep buying their stuff just because they were the Beatles. It was the biggest prank ever pulled.

I mean, think about it… If they weren’t famous, if it were their first album, would you have bought Sgt. Peppers? It was just too out there, man! Just like Radiohead and Tori Amos, they just kept getting weirder as their careers went on. Mean Mr. Mustard? Octopus’s Garden? Yellow Submarine? Hell, by the time Magical Mystery Tour came out John Lennon was dressed like a Walrus yelling koo-koo-kachoo and declaring he was the egg-man on what could have easily been mistaken for a children’s album.

…and we bought it. We took the bait and made them even more larger than life than they were before. We were all suckers. Right?

The flip side of this theory is that when they realized they were unfailingly popular, it gave them the power and confidence to make the music they really wanted to make, without the confines that they had to live with before. They were the first rock band with unlimited creative license. They could do anything and it would sell, so they were effectively given permission to show us a new way to do it. The last few Beatles albums were quite possibly the beginning of everything popular music could be.

How does this relate to swimming? Where in the heck am I going with this? I feel that coaches, when they have had enough success, can become what the Beatles were: free of the trappings of conventional training and technique. They can gain license to really be creative, and that is one of the most beautiful aspects of modern swimming.

I was at the hotel lounge at a coaches’ clinic once and was lucky enough to talk Sean Hutchison into sitting with me so I could pick his brain. He’s a nice enough guy, and I got to hear the Bruce Lee/Ninja Turtle thing first hand. He got into detail about stroke rate and distance from underwater film at the world championships and how he plans workouts around the data. It was good conversation. He thinks outside the box. Some of the things he says make you think he is a pretty weird guy, but at the same time you totally get what he is saying. Eventually Coach Troy from Florida joined in and I started to feel like I was hosting the Chris Farley show, starstruck and bumbling, listening to these guys chat. It was odd how they could have said just about anything and I would have bought it, the same way I bought Sgt Peppers on vinyl, cassette and cd. By the end of the night I was ready to do an 8000yd IM workout attached to a bucket with a $600 suit on.

Just the other day I listened to Bill Boomer rambling about cats, dogs, and advertising while calling Gary Hall the “King of the Cheetahs” and I didn’t hesitate to hail him as a swimming genius the same way I can listen to Bob Dylan make absolutely no sense for an hour and walk away feeling like I just heard poetry straight from heaven. If someone other than Bill Boomer said all those things I would have looked at him like he was trying to sell me a magic flute.

No matter how you look at it, modern training has changed. We are thinking differently in so many ways, and we have our innovators to thank. Swim coaches are some smart people. Thinking back, just imagine if Doc Counsilman had decided to just keep doing the same old stuff? Big brains like him will always keep things fresh and exciting. I just have to wonder… are there more great thinkers out there who just haven’t been discovered yet because they haven’t ever had the chance to work with a blue chip athlete? How much innovation is going on out there that we don’t know about? I am pretty sure there are thousands of really smart coaches out there, and I hope Garrett plans to take his camera to as many small time programs as he does major programs just to see what is going on everywhere. Maybe he will stumble upon the next coach with the ideas to advance our sport.

My chicken/egg question is this: does someone like Sean Hutchison or Bill Boomer become an innovator before he has had national level success? Is Hutch successful because he is creative, or is he creative and willing to try anything because he has been successful? Were the Beatles waiting years for their chance to break out the good stuff, or did they not know they were going to change the entire direction of popular music until the opportunity presented itself and their confidence had reached cosmic levels? If top-notch athletes started transferring into my program, would I change my game plan? Would I get weirder or more traditional? Would I go with “what works” or would I be brave enough to try to find new ways to do it better?

I am just glad that there are people out there who are always moving the sport forward. Our brave innovators are a part of why we are a strong swimming nation. We share ideas. Just think of how many coaches have opened their doors for Garrett and others to come see what they are doing. The sharing of ideas in swimming in the USA and all over the world is amazing. We all want to see the sport improve as much as we want to see our own swimmers do their lifetime best. Ideas are fuel.

Any innovations I might come up with on my own at my current job are based on the fact that my athletes haven’t spent too much time in the water and have a lot of room to improve. That can be a lot of fun. It is probably a good thing I am not sought out as an innovator by other coaches. I tend to get pretty weird right out of the gates. If I were coaching at a top-tier NCAA division 1 program I probably would have skipped “Hard Days Night” and released my “Sgt Peppers” way too early in my career. That might not have been a good thing at all. I could probably have been personally responsible for moving the sport backwards if people actually listened to me. I now know first-hand that I am not as smart as Sean Hutchison. (Although, my Bruce Lee impression is pretty good if I do say so myself.)

Of course, the flip side of all of this is that Bill Boomer, Sean Hutchison and the rest of our big-time coaches could just be completely talking out of their butts and we are all a bunch of suckers. Think about it, eh? It could all be a big prank. They get paid to speak at conventions knowing we are gonna listen because they coach Olympians. Who are we to call them on it? Hutch probably got paid a lot of money to educate us about impressionist painting and jeet-kune-do… and I say “keep it up.” I’ll keep paying for tickets to hear your ideas no matter how far out there you get.

Best Swimming Headline Ever?

2010-05-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am having way too much fun with my new cartoon-making iphone app, but I had to do something to celebrate what just might be Craig Lord's best tech-suit-hating headline ever:

"Berens a Pro in Post-Bare-Butt Times."

Congrats, Ricky. We all hope that the meet in Charlotte gets your pro career off to a great start!